Replies

Well, Chris, it's like I've always said: by the time the hallway is full of velociraptors it's way too late to change the locks on the restroom door. Somebody gave them a key, had to, because the lock is secured by those funky little screws that only go one way and so you know they didn't pull out a screwdriver or a toaster oven to get out of there. The question is who? Well, it could be whom too. "Who" if you're asking "who gave them the key to the executive crapper?", "whom" if you're asking, "the key to the crapper was given to them by whom?" The difference is in the preposition, but then you knew that, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU?!??

The point is simply this: if you are what you eat and the velociraptors have just eaten a Democrat, are they likely to start trying to steal other people's junk or is the whole thing just one big LIE? It makes a difference. You can take a zombie out with a head shot but have you ever tried that with a velociraptor? The buggers move too fast. And they aren't interested in brains. Which is why they ate a Democrat.

Are you keeping up, Chris? I thought so. You've heard this all before, haven't you? Like buzzing from the microchip the CIA implanted in your butt when you were getting the anal warts removed with that little bitty chainsaw? That Doc looked familiar, didn't he? You thought Heath Ledger was dead, but he's really in a Witness Protection program in a clinic in Podunk, smirking at you. Some men just want to watch the anus burn, Chris. They're just like that. And it explains the thumping sound you heard from his restroom.

Velociraptors. I shall say no more.