The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists two men and one woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her. The first man said.You cant be serious. I could never shoot my wife,
The agent replies, Then youre not the right man for this job.”
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the agent came out with tears in his eyes. I tried, but I cant kill my wife. The agent replies, You dont have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.
Finally, it was the womans turn. Only she was told to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, You guys didnt tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. So I had to beat him to death with the chair.
Two men in restroom stalls:
First Man: “hey there’s no toilet paper here, is there any toilet paper over there?”
Second Man: “no, none over here either.”
First Man: (pause) “Well, do you have change for a twenty?”
Thanks for the jokes - needed that this week!
LOL!! Good one!