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Candid discussion about discrimination: I'm a velociraptor in a wool suit! [Vanity]
1/16/2012
| By Lazamataz
Posted on 01/16/2012 1:48:07 PM PST by Lazamataz
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To: Lazamataz
A Velociraptor once bit my sister in half.
61
posted on
01/16/2012 2:37:24 PM PST
by
red-dawg
To: Lazamataz
OMG, WHO IS THAT BEAUTY????!? I must caution you. If, after 3 to 6 months of dating, and she doesn't have a ring on her claw, or an even dozen small mammals to devour, she might turn into this....
To: Larry Lucido
I believe in the Velocirapture.
We, in the raptor world, have our Savior, too.
63
posted on
01/16/2012 2:43:04 PM PST
by
Lazamataz
(Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
To: ArrogantBustard
Freakin’ buzzard. God I hate you non-people.
64
posted on
01/16/2012 2:44:20 PM PST
by
Lazamataz
(Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
To: Focault's Pendulum
Yeesh. Yeah, forget it. I met a cute Stegasaurus down the road anyways.
65
posted on
01/16/2012 2:45:28 PM PST
by
Lazamataz
(Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
To: brivette
by any chance are a one eyed one horned flying purple eater?I have both my eyes, no horn, and ever since the TSA took over, I don't fly much.
Otherwise, yes.
66
posted on
01/16/2012 2:47:07 PM PST
by
Lazamataz
(Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
To: Lazamataz
Velociraptors are the most sensitive of all the dinosaurs.***************************************
Could it be more clear? You, my friend, are a shining example of that.
Take, for example, your generous responses to various females, whether mammalian or reptile, saints or sinners. How many have recognized you for what you are: a charitable, forgiving and understanding creature. And, despite being a reptile, your modesty compels you to wear a wool suit, and that is another quality so many today lack.
If I may, please allow me to sum this up:
1. You are sensitive.
2. You are generous.
3. You are forgiving.
4. You are understanding.
5. You are modest.
6. You are stylishly dressed, yet humble and unassuming.
I could go on and on, but I don't want to embarrass you.
67
posted on
01/16/2012 2:51:50 PM PST
by
trisham
(Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
To: Lazamataz
Perhaps if you move to DC and.., ehm.., lobby?
I know the fare is less than palatable but you'd be doing the rest of us a favor.
68
posted on
01/16/2012 2:57:37 PM PST
by
outofsalt
("If History teaches us anything it's that history rarely teaches us anything")
To: trisham
If I may, please allow me to sum this up:
1. You are sensitive.
2. You are generous.
3. You are forgiving.
4. You are understanding.
5. You are modest.
6. You are stylishly dressed, yet humble and unassuming.Don't forget:
7. I leap with amazing swiftness and unreal strength over 20 feet in the air, and with a hideous screech, pounce on a person with my massive claws holding him (or her) down by the spinal column-- allowing my massive jaws lined with vicious, unbelieveably sharp teeth to effortlessly snap 5 to 10 pound lumps of flesh from their body, with arcs of crimson blood looping lazily through the air, as they scream their dying scream.
It's my most endearing quality.
69
posted on
01/16/2012 2:59:28 PM PST
by
Lazamataz
(Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
To: Lazamataz
Since you're an absolutely ruthless and voracious killing machine, I'd say become a lawyer. From there, you could make it all the way to the presidency and fit right in, every step of the way.
Think of it! No more living in the forest with no home and no food! European vacations all year long! Celebrities fawning all over you - and most of them are so yummy and full of drugs, you'll never have to buy another hit of anything!
And when you decide to become dictator for life, who the hell could stop you?
Go for it!! You can do this.
70
posted on
01/16/2012 3:01:02 PM PST
by
TheOldLady
(FReepmail me to get ON or OFF the ZOT LIGHTNING ping list)
To: Lazamataz
Yeah, forget it. Ref#62
Yeah, you're probably right. Imagine you're bushed from a day ripping the guts out of Human Resource people (I'd like to tag along), you come back to the nest and the first thing she says "Do you notice anything different about me?"
You grunt, scratch the backside with your hind legs, and pull a piece of HR flesh from between your teeth, realizing it didn't taste just quite human. You respond, "Yeah babe you look ravaging."
She goes into a tirade, stomps about, breaking several of your eggs in the process.
She screams "I spiked my hair for you!"
It is now time to beat a permanent retreat.
And that is why velociraptors went extinct.
To: Focault's Pendulum
And that is why velociraptors went extinct.No, not quite:
72
posted on
01/16/2012 3:11:14 PM PST
by
Lazamataz
(Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
To: TheOldLady
A ...LAWYER.... of course!
No need to object to a proceeding, just disembowel everyone in the room!
73
posted on
01/16/2012 3:21:11 PM PST
by
Lazamataz
(Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
To: Lazamataz
I like the cut of your jib. You’re hired!
74
posted on
01/16/2012 3:31:20 PM PST
by
Trillian
To: Lazamataz
Precisely! You'll never lose a case. That's what I'm talking 'bout!
75
posted on
01/16/2012 3:31:47 PM PST
by
TheOldLady
(FReepmail me to get ON or OFF the ZOT LIGHTNING ping list)
To: Lazamataz
No, not quite...
76
posted on
01/16/2012 3:35:27 PM PST
by
null and void
(Day 1090 of America's ObamaVacation from reality [Heroes aren't made, Frank, they're cornered...])
To: Lazamataz
Don't forget: 7. I leap with amazing swiftness and unreal strength over 20 feet in the air, and with a hideous screech, pounce on a person with my massive claws holding him (or her) down by the spinal column-- allowing my massive jaws lined with vicious, unbelieveably sharp teeth to effortlessly snap 5 to 10 pound lumps of flesh from their body, with arcs of crimson blood looping lazily through the air, as they scream their dying scream.
It's my most endearing quality.
***********************
If I may, please allow me to sum this up:
1. You are sensitive.
2. You are generous.
3. You are forgiving.
4. You are understanding.
5. You are modest.
6. You are stylishly dressed, yet humble and unassuming.
7. You are athletically gifted, and not sadistic, choosing to spare your chosen food a long, painful death. Instead, you choose to grant them a short, excruciatingly painful death, which in the end is a kindness.
77
posted on
01/16/2012 3:37:32 PM PST
by
trisham
(Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
To: Trillian
I like the cut of your jib. Youre hired!GREAT! When can I eat.... I mean, uh, meat... um MEET you?
78
posted on
01/16/2012 3:42:13 PM PST
by
Lazamataz
(Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
To: Lazamataz
Ya know Laz
What sometimes bothers me is that I read these threads and they seems perfectly normal to me.
Hummmm
79
posted on
01/16/2012 3:49:13 PM PST
by
Steve Newton
(And the Wolves will learn what we have shown before-We love our sheep we dogs of war. Vaughn)
To: Steve Newton
80
posted on
01/16/2012 3:52:20 PM PST
by
Lazamataz
(Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
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