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Interesting Ideas

— I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it.

— I had amnesia once — or twice.

— Protons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.

— What is a “free” gift? Aren’t all gifts free?

— They told me I was gullible... and I believed them.

— Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he’ll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.

— Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.

— Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

— What if there were no hypothetical questions?

— One nice thing about egotists: They don’t talk about other people.

— When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.

— A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.