The recession has hit everybody really hard...
My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.
My cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it, so they re-possessed her!
Truckloads of Americans have been caught sneaking into Mexico.
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
When Bill and Hillary travel together they now have to share a room.
The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
Congress says they are looking into the Bernard Madoff scandal. Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the guys who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
And, finally...
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., that I called the Suicide Hotline.
I got a call center in Pakistan and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck or fly an airplane.
PBTP! Yaahoo.