I sympathize with you greatly and have been there myself. But the more I thought about it, did I really want my daughter to hang out with the girls in her grade? Honestly, my daughter wanted a friend, just not a friend that couldn’t understand her. Constantly she would tell me I don’t fit in with the girls, I’m not like them. That was true, she was not mean or judgmental or caddy. She has always been the only girl in the resource class, because more boys have learning problems then girls. So her and I had a talk about why couldn’t she have a boy as a friend. And now she has about 3 really good guy friends. If your daughter has no peers in her school with Asperger’s then maybe you can look into your Community and see if they offer clubs. I am surprised that your School has not taken this in consideration as part of your daughter’s transition? The friend(s) she will make is going to be worth the wait. We have found that to be the case. If the people you are inviting don’t reciprocate or return, they are not going to be a good friend. Do you really want your daughter hanging out with those types of kids? It is their loss not hers. She deserves so much better. You are not going to change the Asperger’s but you can change the negativity you feel into positivity. If you see the young population considered the “norm” today how many are on drugs, pregnant, suicidal (heard 3 already this year), need medicine for extreme anxiety, runaway, the list is endless. With our daughters they just don’t see the world in that way to have those problems. If having a slow time at getting a true friend is the worst we have to experience, life is good. I know things are going to work for you too, we are lucky. God Bless.
Thank you Jersey. I’ve read you post now several times and, it clearly all makes sense. I guess I hear these things all the time — I read them — but during particularly tough times, I need to hear them reworded or presented in a new way. Your post did that.
My daughter has such a caring heart, but it’s her awkward responses to things that prohibit others from getting to know her deepest cares. They didn’t see her two nights ago, sobbing in bed because something made her think about a woman she’d seen months ago in New Orleans. The woman was sitting alongside a building, hunched over atop a grate, with newspapers covering her to stay warm. My daughter wanted to know if that woman was ever given food to eat. The conversation shifted to a discussion about the importance of serving others who clearly need our help. We talked about participating as volunteers (which her older sister and I regularly do). That made her feel good to know that she could help.
But it’s things like this which my daughter’s peers don’t see, and right now, the world misses out on.