If you want to have the wedding somewhere else, you pay to get your party there, don't ask friends and family, many of whom can't afford to travel to exotic locals in this economy.
One of my girlfriends is a bridesmaid in an upcoming wedding. She has to pay to get herself to Aruba, as well as pay for the resort they are staying at, her dress, and anything else that comes up.
That really depends on who you are. In my family (the one I was born into) your advice would be spot on. You wouldn't expect working people to pick up and travel to a wedding. Now I attended my niece's wedding in Aspen. Half of her social circle flew in from L.A., Chicago, New York and London. What would have been rude of me at my own wedding, didn't garner so much as a second glance at hers.