Thank you, happy Thursday to you.
Jesus in All Sixty-Six
“But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon Him; and with His stripes we are healed.” Isaiah 53:5
The thing I love about the Old Testament is the thing I love about the New Testament. The Old Testament and the New Testament both are the inspired Word of God. Don’t get the idea that the Old Testament has a message different from the New Testament. All of the Bible is about Jesus. If you read the Bible and you don’t find Jesus, you better go re-read it.
Somebody may ask if you have read the four gospels, and you can answer them, “I’ve read all sixty-six!”
From Genesis to Revelation,
It has the same villain – Satan.
It has the same hero – Jesus.
It has the same purpose – to present salvation in no other name but Jesus.
Read Isaiah 53. What are the prophecies that were fulfilled in the life of Christ?
Q. If you’re going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. You’ve been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A.. Don Knotts: That’s what’s been keeping me awake.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I’ll give you a gesture you’ll never forget.
Q. In bowling, what’s a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A.. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q.. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.
WE DON’T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD,
WE GROW OLD BECAUSE WE STOP LAUGHING
Enjoy
WORK VIRUS
There is a new virus going around, called “work”. If you receive any sort of “work” at all, whether via email, internet or simply handed to you by a colleague...DO NOT OPEN IT.
Work has been circulating around our building for months and those who have been tempted to open “work” or even look at “work” have found that their social life is deleted and their brain ceases to function properly.
If you do encounter “work” via email or are faced with any “work” at all, to purge the virus, send an email to your boss with the words “Sorry...I’m off to Home Depot.” The “work” should then be automatically deleted from your brain.
If you receive “work” in paper-document form, simply lift the document and drag the “work” to your garbage can. Put on your coat and skip to the nearest cafe with two friends and order three double chocolate espressos. After repeating this action 10 times, you will find that “work” will no longer be of any relevance to you.
Send this message to everyone in your address book. If you do not have anyone in your address book, then I’m afraid the “work” virus has already corrupted your life.