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OK, I have to share just how much I LOVE Free Republic! This story epitomizes my affinity for this site. There are so many gems in this story that it’s hard for me to break down, but here goes:

The fact that Rick is indeed a “prick” goes with out saying. It is almost a side note in this little foray into “I’m the King of Assholes in my town” play for the everyman. Let’s face it, pricks are a dime a dozen these days. No, what stands out is that at some level; somewhere just beneath the comb over and the Walmart purchased “redneck fishing” t-shirt, Rick is semi-aware of his “prickness”. He hints at this at the end of his narrative when he thinks maybe he should buy Tony and “M” a gift card. However, much like like Shakespeare’s star-crossed lovers, we know that Rick’s feigned contrition is not really meant to be. For in is own mental epic, a sort of Bizarro Matrix, these innocent victims (forced to live in the real world) are unaware of the radiant prick-liness that Rick has just shone upon them. (”Pitiful hourly employees, do you not realize I have the ability to render the very fabric of time and space and local receipt-showing ordinances?!”) Moreover, our “NEO-Prick” almost feels sadness for these mortals that they will never really be able to appreciate the nature of the completely meaningless, prick-laden experience they have had to suffer in addition to their already trodden Walmart employment experience (As a side note, I am firmly convinced that anyone who works at Walmart will spend zero time in Purgatory; “that ticket’s been duly punched . . .”) No, our would be, albeit tragic, Greek-like prick hero realizes that the only way to maybe magnify the experience, to illuminate non-prickdom, is to jot down his prickness for posterity’s sake. And, as is the nature of the human opera we call life, we are at times degraded (Not news to Tony . .) and other times elevated by others. For even though Rick took finger to keyboard to etch his Royal Prick saga upon the winds of the ethernet, it could have too easily have been lost. However, like a Robin to a truly magnificent asswipe of a Batman; Daffynition has managed to keep this “Ode upon a Grecian Prick’s Urn” alive just a byte longer.

I salute you both for your shameless, blatant “Street Prick-Theater and libretto”. We may never see the likes of ye again . . .

And this is why I LOVE the Free Republic site.