I say "I've had enough" several times a day. Several times a week I wish I were dead. I don't want to kill myself because I've seen the hurt it causes those who love you. But, I'm sooooo sick of the world being upside down. The good people are treated like trash while the trash is treated with kit gloves. Every thing is geared toward the lowest of the low. What's really bad is I'm fifty five and have been this way since childhood. The only things that keep me going are my; daughter, best friend, and dogs.
I think what you need is to get outdoors in the sun. I have a whole lot of yard work that needs to be done, and the outside of my house needs painting. Come on over and I'll let you help. I say this because it's about what a psychologist once told me. First he said "If you want to kill yourself, go ahead. Your life belongs to you." He was, I thought, a friend. I'm glad I wasn't paying him. That was over twenty years ago, who knows, maybe it helped. I know I almost never got the paint out of my hair.
Please, keep this in mind, we need everyone we can get to help with what's coming. Don't leave us here to face it alone.
I've been dealing with depression - off and on - since cancer took the life of a sweet loved one a few years back. Philosopher - first - get counseling. Really, it can help. Put in that garden others talk about...it'll help - and find something to cling to until the worst passes.
Razz is right - there are bad times coming - and we all need to be here for each other.
The music and poetry of Leonard Cohen has been a great help to me. Cohen dealt with depression off and on most of his life. I met him years ago - when he was 'just' a poet - and rediscovered him a little more than a year ago - so I feel a connection, but his words stand on their own.
Here's the last few lines in a poem in 'The Book of Longing':
I must say it quickly. Whoever is in your life, those who harm you, those who help you, those whom you know and those whom you do not know - let them off the hook, help them off the hook. Recognize the hook. You are listening to Radio Resistance...