At 29, you have many, many years to achieve what you want to achieve. I wanted to be an actress at your age but that didn’t pan out. I became a writer at 50 and have had some success at it as well as deep satisfaction. So: you have got to hang in there because your life WILL change for the better.
The 20s can be miserable years for some. Luckily, the 30s, 40s and 50s are sure to follow. And they can be terrific, trust me!
Read “The Five People You Meet In Heaven”
I have an IQ that supposedly puts me on par with Nobel prize winners. While I’m successful in many of the things I do, I’m still not “great.” Part of that is my fault, but I turn 40 this year and - believe me - it weighs on me.
My grandfather is lying on his deathbed right now. He’ll probably pass away today. He was a minister and affected the lives of many people. Was he “great?” What is his legacy beyond the people he helped? There will be no building named after him. He didn’t amass great wealth. He has not published any books.
He did have an impact on me, though. That alone is *great* to me. Will I, in turn, cure cancer? Will I give a speech crediting him for my success? Probably not, although the jury is still out on what I do with the rest of my life.
He has helped give me potential. I an intend on passing that potential to my children. And the people *I* help. If you help just one person, who helps another, who saves someone, who later becomes great...
It’s the Butterfly effect. If you are Christian - and trust that God has a plan - you may not see the part you played until you stand in His glory.
In the meantime, keep your dreams alive. At 29, you have plenty of time to realize them.
James, you are just an ordinary guy. It’s ok (in fact, it’s very liberating).
I became truly happy when I accepted my averageness and got busy living. It’s ok to not be the best, smartest, handsomest, coolest, etc. Just be.
Besides, all of your heroes were probably also just “ordinary guys”. They peed and pooped and ate and slept and laughed and cried and all had fears.
The desire to special and unique (not ordinary) is just your ego.
“I have never wanted to be normal or ordinary. . . . I am running out of time to avoid being just another guy.”
Firstly, don’t take what I am going to say as a slam. I am 52 and want to be helpful. What I quoted above from you suggests a narcissistic tendency in your outlook. (That’s not just you - it’s pandemic these days!) Your primary focus in life seems to be on comparing yourself to everyone else, with an anxious need to be regarded as extra-extraordinary in your uniqueness.
Each of us is unique, but what really counts is that you DO work every day to support yourself and avoid being dependent on others - that alone is a worthwhile achievement. When you choose a spouse (wisely!) and begin to support children, your sense of purpose and worth will increase manifold. You can trust in that.
Hang in there, look forward and outward, and give yourself a break. 29 years is still youth in today’s world. You’re just about to come into your own as an adult.
Do not focus on being “great”, focus on being good. I don’t mean good in a perfectionistic sense and neither in a slacker “just good enough” sense. But if you have some unrealistic ideal of greatness, you will miss greatness and goodness as well.
And modern Christianity focuses too much on our inner state and how “spiritual” we are supposed to feel. Think more about how faithful Christ is and what He has done for you. If you focus on yourself and the faith you feel, if you are honest you will be discouraged. It is good you despair in yourself. Even our best greatness is empty. You can use your despair to focus on Christ. Don’t let your Godly despair turn into a godless despair. I was in your situation for many years and still often struggle.
bttt VIDEOS:
Comparing Yourself To Others Pt.1 - Dennis Prager
In the five years after I turned 29 I quit drinking, quit smoking, met and married my wife, fathered two daughters, built a house, completed a college degree, and earned several job promotions.
NONE of this could I have imagined at the time I was 29. I simply decided that my life was off track and I needed to become a different person. There is nothing wrong with being "just another guy" if you are a guy who believes in freedom, individual responsibility, and personal accountability. There is a great shortage of such "guys".