Funny Police Quotes
“The handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch out after you wear them awhile.”
“If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”
“So, you don’t know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?”
“Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?”
“Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.”
“The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?”
“Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”
“Life’s tough, it’s tougher if you’re stupid.”
“No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we want.”
“Just how big were those two beers?
“In God we trust, all others are suspects.”
A man has to be quick-witted when he’s caught in a tight spot. So it is with the man whose wife is downtown shopping and decides to pay him a surprise visit at work.
There’s no one at the reception desk, so she walks into his office and finds her husband with his secretary sitting on his lap.
Without hesitating a moment, the fellow dictates, “And in conclusion, gentlemen, shortage or no shortage, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair.”
Both are good’uns, Dubya! LOL!!