Blonde on a plane
PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO Chicago WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP, AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN.
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS, AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET.
SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMYCLASS, AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK.
THE BLONDE REPLIES,”I’M BLONDE, I’M BEAUTIFUL, I’M GOING TO CHICAGO AND I’M STAYING RIGHT HERE.”
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLSTHE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY, AND WON’T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.
THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT.
THE BLONDE REPLIES,”I’M BLONDE, I’M BEAUTIFUL, I’M GOING TO CHICAGO AND I’M STAYING RIGHT HERE.”
THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULDHAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE WOMAN, WHO WON’T LISTEN TO REASON.
THE PILOT SAYS, “YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I’LL HANDLE THIS, I’M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE.”
HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE SAYS, “OH, I’M SORRY.” AND GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY.
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT
ANY FUSS.
“I TOLD HER,
“FIRST CLASS ISN’T GOING TO CHICAGO “.
Wicked good joke, Dubya, a keeper!
The Coat Hanger. . ..
A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her small daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication. She got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys in the car. She didn’t know what to do, so she called home and told the baby sitter what had happened.
The baby sitter told her that the fever was getting worse She said, ‘You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door.’
The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had been left on the ground, possibly by someone else who at some time had locked their keys in their car. She looked at the hanger and said, ‘I don’t know how to use this.’
She bowed her head and asked God to send her help. Within five minutes a beat up old motor cycle pulled up, with a dirty, greasy, bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head.
The woman thought, ‘This is what you sent to help me?’ But, she was desperate, so she was also very thankful.
The man got off his cycle and asked if he could help She said, ‘Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some medication and I locked my keys in my car. I must get home to her. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?”
He said, ‘Sure.’ He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute the car was opened.
She hugged the man and through her tears she said, ‘Thank You So Much! You are a very nice man.’
The man replied, ‘Lady, I am not a nice man. I just got out of prison today. I was in prison for car theft and have only been out for about an hour.’
The woman hugged the man again and with sobbing tears cried out loud,
‘Oh, thank you God! You even sent me a Professional!!!’
ROFL!!