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Three Holy Men & a Bear

A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher, and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette .

They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard - a real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment.

They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experience.

Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first. 'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next.. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he claimed, 'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb.. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus..Hallelujah!

The priest and the reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.

The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it,
......circumcision may not
have been the best way to start."

2,168 posted on 02/21/2011 10:13:44 AM PST by Dubya (JESUS SAVES)
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To: Billie; MEG33; jaycee; Kitty Mittens; Aquamarine; GodBlessUSA; Mama_Bear; The Mayor; ...


February 21, 2011



Graphic by Billie

"Saying you don't look good in a hat is like saying you don't look good in shoes!"
Unknown

"Wearing a hat versus not wearing a hat is the difference between looking adequate and looking your best."
Martha Sliter

"You can flirt with a fan in your hand. You can flirt holding a cigarette, too. But a woman can really flirt with a hat."
Dolores Foster

"If a woman rebels against high heeled shoes, she should take care to do it in a very smart hat."
George Bernard Shaw

"So many hats and only one head!"
Unknown




2,170 posted on 02/21/2011 10:36:23 AM PST by JustAmy (I know God will not give me anything I canÂ’t handle. I just wish that He didnÂ’t trust me so much.Â)
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To: Dubya

ROTF! Good one, Dubya!

Hope you are having a great start of a new week!


2,171 posted on 02/21/2011 10:36:53 AM PST by yorkie
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To: All

HAPPY MONDAY

2,178 posted on 02/21/2011 11:17:34 AM PST by Dubya (JESUS SAVES)
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To: Dubya

Hilarious, Dubya!


2,192 posted on 02/21/2011 1:29:22 PM PST by oldteen
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