I know many couples who have never divorced, gone through rocky situations (financial, illness or family matters) and have never even considered divorce. My own husband is from a broken home yet his siblings are all happily married and not divorced. I came from a story book home yet both of my siblings have been divorced. There isn't a rule book - some people are selfish or childish or change as they mature. Some can work it out together, some can't. But to say the risk is all on the man is wrong. Women risk too - some make more money than their husbands, or perhaps one person gives more emotionally and risks that failure. The children risk losing stability and trust.
You seem to focus mostly on money - do you not realize that most women with children don't come away from a divorce rolling in money - most have to downsize considerably and go to work if they were stay at home Moms. The children lose not only the foundation of family they have known, and their home, but often lose the time they had with their mother as well. And add only seeing Dad every other weekend, or whatever, to the mix and I feel more sorry for the children than the selfish adults who couldn't work it out or made a bad decision to marry that person in the first place.
I’ll start with the kids. If they mattered, then no divorce - EVER (except for violence). I’m a big fan of Dr. Laura’s and I know full well what it means to kids to have parents walk out. Yet parents do it anyway...and then rationalize that the kids are better with split parents - so both (husband and wife) get the blame in my book. Now, if you look at (non-Hispanic) immigrant families and the fact that they are much more likely to stay together, and then the kids almost always do very well in school, even if they sometimes haven’t even mastered English...there is a correlation. As a guy who prefers to be married just once...that means a lot.
As to my point of view - sure it’s jaded. But when most of my friends have been divorced and many taken to the cleaners, and many other never wanting to play the lottery, I will get a jaded viewpoint. But that is my point, and the overall numbers bear that out. I don’t really care if it’s the woman’s fault for a divorce, or the guy’s, or both. All that matters to me is whether there is a divorce - and what can I do, as I guy, to minimize that possibility. And, like it or not, going halfway around the world to find a wife is probably the single best insurance possible. While I’m sure they’re out there, I have yet to see a mixed marriage of that type end in divorce.
As to knowing couples that have gotten through tough times, no doubt. As noted before, it’s simply a probability game - in a country that has a 50% divorce rate (which I see first-hand), there are also 50% of couples that make it (although skewed somewhat my immigrant-based marriages), so sure, there are plenty of happy endings in mainstream America - I know some too (of course).
Yes, the money is a piece of it. One guy I know just moved to Australia, permanently, as his ex totally cleaned his clock and he absolutely no future here. Get a bad judge...and it’s game over - so you have to play the probability game and do your best to never be in front of a judge. From the woman’s standpoint - they have legal bills too, they have to deal with non-payments, they have the expenses of the kids. But for some women, wiping out the ex makes it all worth it - again, you only find that out when it’s too late - so why take the chance?
I look at my family on both sides and there are no wusses in any of the females on either my side or mr. mm’s side.
They are all strong minded and strong willed women, independent and capable of supporting themselves if need be.
And with the exception of my one brother with his first loser wife, everyone is still married to their first spouse and that’s out of seven marriages.
Well, nine including our parents who never got divorced either.