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I understand your frustration but do you not understand how it makes women feel when you make a blanket statement about American women being gold digging feminists? And think about what you just wrote: a woman over 30 must have had a job and been able to support herself in some fashion unless you want her to have been a kept woman. Again, a blanket statement covering every woman who has worked is a slap to the many who wish they could find a good husband and start a family.

Look at it this way - your statement about women would be like me saying that every man over the age of 30 in the United States wants either a 20 year old air headed trophy wife or a foreign woman who couldn't possibly support herself so she is totally dependent on him like a slave.

Wouldn't that make you feel like I thought you didn't have enough sense to want a woman who could talk to you about politics or understand science or history. Or that you didn't have the confidence to marry a woman who had an IQ above room temp?

I understand. I have a sister who’s been married once (and still is), has kids, and is doing just fine. By my standards, I would tell anyone that I know not to marry her - and be dead wrong.

My point is, even though I did a lousy job of communicating it, that I look at marriage as a probability game (i.e., a lottery). And no matter how much you think you know the person that you’re about to marry...you don’t. The system is rigged for her to scram with the kids and then collect money from the loser husband. So the temptation and opportunity will always be there - and the question then becomes what is the cost to her? If her friends and family consists of people who have scrammed and taken the dough, then it becomes very easy to do the same. On the other had, if she comes from the ‘old country’ where people were expected to marry once and stick it out, it gets much harder to scram when things get rocky.

In my case, my wife is from the ‘old country’ and her 6 siblings have all been married to the same person and are still married to the same person after 20+ years. What does that mean for me - it means that she put up with a LOT of crap that no American woman would have stood for (there’s a reason it took me to age 30 just to have a girlfriend) - but we got through (and no, I didn’t cheat...just wouldn’t have ‘measured up’ to feminist standards). In any case, we’re past that and doing ok.

So I’m sorry for the American women that I might be hurting. I don’t really blame them - as we’re all products of our environment and there are lots of excellent ones out there - but until our system treats marriage as something to protect, it is VERY RISKY for any guy, particularly if he makes decent money, to risk it in this way.