Posted on 11/21/2010 8:23:21 AM PST by Huck
I'd like to hear from any Freepers down in Dixie on a societal question. I'd like to know if the old southern virtues survive, or if mass-media culture has erased or eroded them. I'm talking about the basic manners, and in particular, the relationship of young people to adults. Allow me a moment to explain.
I was born and raised in New Jersey. I was in many respects NOT raised right. EXCEPT, I was fortunate enough to spend extended periods down in Alabama with my grandmother. I attended public school for a short time in Alabama as well. This was in the 1970s.
Culturally, Alabama demonstrated superiority to New Jersey in two specific areas. They demonstrated better manners generally, and they had a more structured and appropriate relationship between adults and children. In Alabama schools, all adults were addressed with Yes Sir and No Sir or Yes M'am and No M'am. No exceptions. This was unquestioned by any student. And in the community generally, the adults were all on one team, and the kids were all on another. No adult ever sided with a kid against another adult. The first response was always to support the authority of the elder, and to reproof the child, pending investigation.
Here in NJ, it was NOT like that, inside of school or out. I find that this Yankee culture is inferior. The best one can do here is to send a child to Catholic School, but even then, the general culture does not support manners, decorum, and institutionalized respect for elders. It's chaotic here. It's a mess.
So, back to my question. I'm very curious to know if this culture still survives in the south. I hope it does. I wish there were some way to transplant it to the rest of the country. I'd love to hear some thoughts and reports from Dixie freepers.
My boys say Yes Ma’am, No sir among other things, and will get a knot jerked in their tails if I found out they were rude.
I CANNOT stand bad manners!
Handshakes as well. My boys will always introduce themselves and shake hands with the person, also eye contact....I cannot stand mumbling! And phones off when in a social situation around adults and family!!
Your “Uncle Charlie” vs. “Charlie” gave me a big chuckle. Let me say that I have been there and experienced that. Being a native born Southerner, I get a little homesick when I am in other parts of the Country where many of the delightful Southern mannerisms are missing. I am sure they are “good” people, but still I sense that “something” is missing.
I had the Carolina Ribs at The Pit for lunch today. ‘Nuf said.
Now that's the truth!
Yep, been to Hurseys in Burlington and have eaten at every BBQ in Davidson Co. except Cooks down by the lake.
Good manners still exist in the Deep South...whites and blacks both.
When we go home to Mississippi my wife and I both notice a genteel nature missing in Middle Tennessee
Here in metro Nashville no Yankee kids say yes ma’am and whatnot but that’s expected.
What’s troubling is kids raised by southerners under 40 rarely do it either.
They come to my house and address me as huh or yeah and I correct them and I will correct their folks if they confront me.
Same as I would expect someone to do mine too at their home.
Like anything else...times have change and for the worse in almost all arenas.
It sucks and it’s a pet peeve of mine.
The only part of the nation I still feel welcome in are Miss, Bama, cracker Florida, west TN and rural hollows, Arkansas, much of Texas, South Carolina , Rural Georgia and Louisiana..maybe pockets of VA and NC.
I hate it. You have to be over 45 to see how rurnt it got so fast.
I could probably get along in northern Idaho but they don’t do manners much either.
some military families do it too whether southern or not
The reason some ladies get offended by “ma’am” is because for one thing, it makes them feel old. When you’re in your teens or twenties, you’re called “miss,” then all of a sudden, you start hearing “ma’am” instead, and it makes you feel ancient. Also, some employees are taught to call all female customers “ma’am,” but they do it in a very snotty, impatient way. Like a female comedian I once heard says, “We all know what ‘ma’am’ means when a department store saleslady says it. It means the ‘B’ word!” :-)
But of course none of this is your fault. It must be annoying to behave as a gentleman, only to have women respond by getting offended. I hope it helps somewhat to know where those women might be coming from.
Great post. It is so good to read something that is not negative.
I agree. I have many friends whose kids still call people with a surname like Miss Sadie or Mr. Robert. People in the South are naturally friendly and gracious. If we weren’t we would be beating the carpola out of all the obnoxious yankees and Ghetto bums who live here.
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