Replies

CASSANDRA Hello Arnold, bang on time.
RIMMER I’ve brought you a visitor, Cassandra. Do you know his name?
CASSANDRA Yes, I do. Not –
[Shock registers on RIMMER’s face]
RIMMER What?
CASSANDRA Not –
RIMMER ‘Knot’??
CASSANDRA Let me finish! Not that it matters what his name is, I mean, our relationship doesn’t last very long.
[RIMMER calms himself, visibly trying to relax]
KNOT I understand you have the ability to predict –
CASSANDRA - the future, yes, I do.
KNOT A hundred percent reli –
CASSANDRA - able, yes.
KNOT What happens to me; do I get back to Earth?
CASSANDRA No, you die in about four seconds’ time of a heart attack after hearing the news that you’re going to die of a heart attack.
KNOT You filthy ly — Ack!
[KNOT clutches a hand to his chest and stares at RIMMER and shock. RIMMER watches nonchalantly as KNOT sinks to the floor and sprawls on his back. CASSANDRA peers down at him sympathetically]
CASSANDRA Poor Rimmer.
RIMMER Yes, poor old ‘Rimmer’.
[KNOT raises a hand weakly]
KNOT My name is not –
[Quick to obfuscate the man’s inconvenient last words, RIMMER leans down as if to listen intently]
RIMMER Your name is not *what*?
KNOT Knot! Not... Knot..! [The man’s lead lolls back slackly. RIMMER looks to CASSANDRA impatiently]
RIMMER Is he dead now?
CASSANDRA I’m afraid so.
RIMMER Yes! [Enormously pleased, RIMMER holds up both fists triumphantly]
CASSANDRA He died of a massive coronary, just as I prophesied.
RIMMER Yes! [RIMMER punches the air again]
CASSANDRA You seem inordinately happy, Arnold, but why? You’re going to die too. [Once again RIMMER’s smile is mercilessly killed]
RIMMER But you said - I just... I’m gonna die too?
CASSANDRA I already told you: Rimmer dies of a heart attack, and then you and all the other Canaries die too; all except Lister, Kryten, Kochanski and the Cat. I’ve seen it.