[montyspython]

Americans think soccer sucks because they themselves suck at it.

Funny thing about baseball is that for a sport that moves so slow I can’t understand why it requires so much steroid use... go figure.

[Grunthor]

Americans think soccer sucks because you can waste 3 whole hours watching a bunch of weenies kick a ball around and if you’re lucky, the game ends 1 nil.

How exciting. Not.

[Dr. Sivana]

Funny thing about baseball is that for a sport that moves so slow I can’t understand why it requires so much steroid use... go figure.

I don't know of a kicked soccer ball that travels at more than 90 miles per hour at 90 feet. I don't know of anyone who has cranked a soccer ball 450 feet and out of the park. If you simply want speed, hockey has many of the attributes of soccer, but at a MUCH faster speed, and unmistakeable skills that can be discerned even by the novice.

Why does it bother Europeans so much that grown-up Americans really dislike soccer? I don't particularly care if the French like football or not.