I have something to tell you. I have an ex-husband who hasn’t seen our daughter in years. We don’t even know where he is. At the time we got divorced in 2005, I hadn’t seen him in 4 years. I went for custody due to abandonment and he was awarded joint custody, supposed to visit her every month for a year to establish a relationship. That lasted for 4 months and then he disappeared. You would think someone in the military is easy to find but if that person doesn’t want to be found, even the military won’t help. He hasn’t seen her in years. On July 9, she will be 13. She will not have had a birthday card from him in 3 years. He knows where we are, I had an Army chaplain forward the information to him years ago and that is all he would do. E-mails sent to him asking him if he’s going to call her on her birthday don’t get kicked back but they don’t get answered either. She is an award-winning honor student. Am I a failure or a bad mother? Hell no! My life is twice as hard as a single parent and I have a son whose dad died in 1997 when he was 3. No dad for either of them but we are happy. Nevertheless, every year I place a letter in the file of the last court we were in to update them on where we are, what we are doing and the last time I heard from him. This way, he can’t say he doesn’t know anything. He can hire his old lawyer to look in the file. I am not and never have kept her from him. His family never contacts us. She has a Facebook page but never gets his from him or anyone in his family. They never even look for her. It has hurt her over the years. First the abandonment when we were still married and now this. It is in no way my fault, I have taken the responsibility of my kids alone and would never do it any other way. My daughters father doesn’t even answer the e-mails that I am in failing health with a bad heart for years now. Still I work full-time to provide most of the time going to work ill.
I pass no judgement on the mother. Her daughter was too young to develop the disdain for her mother she has now. She has zero frame of reference. That means the father has badmouthed the mother. You don’t need any more “proof” than that. How about you looking at the fact that the kids suffered shock and trauma from the abrupt separation? Didn’t think about that, did you smartypants?
So much for corruption in the family courts all biased against men.
>>> So much for corruption in the family courts all biased against men.
So much? 90+% of all men are denied custody. That is the fact of the matter.
>>> I have something to tell you. I have an ex-husband who
>>> hasn’t seen our daughter in years. We don’t even know
>>> where he is. At the time we got divorced in 2005, I
>>> hadn’t seen him in 4 years. I went for custody due to
>>> abandonment and he was awarded joint custody, supposed
>>> to visit her every month for a year to establish a
>>> relationship.
So, I have a brother that married a lady that has a true deadbeat dad. Big deal. There are a few bad dads out there.
As for the alleged ‘joint custody’ - that is a joke. In Louisiana, that means the custodial parent decides everything and the other parent can go cry to the judge - if he can afford the legal bill.
>>> That lasted for 4 months and then he disappeared.
>>> You would think someone in the military is easy to
>>> find but if that person doesn’t want to be found,
>>> even the military won’t help. He hasn’t seen her in
>>> years.
Rubbish. People are easy to find. It is not the militaries job to find them.
>>> On July 9, she will be 13. She will not have had a
>>> birthday card from him in 3 years. He knows where we
>>> are, I had an Army chaplain forward the information to
>>> him years ago and that is all he would do.
Years ago? Years ago? He has probably long since lost that information.
>>> E-mails sent to him asking him if he’s going to call
>>> her on her birthday don’t get kicked back but they
>>> don’t get answered either. She is an award-winning
>>> honor student.
Many kids in single mom situations end up badly in life. The damage from the divorce shows up when they try to form relationships.
>>> Am I a failure or a bad mother? Hell no!
Yes.
>>> My life is twice as hard as a single parent and I have
>>> a son whose dad died in 1997 when he was 3. No dad for
>>> either of them but we are happy.
Hmmm
>>> Nevertheless, every year I place a letter in the file
>>> of the last court we were in to update them on where we
>>> are, what we are doing and the last time I heard from
>>> him. This way, he can’t say he doesn’t know anything.
Oh please, that is the last place he would look.
>>> He can hire his old lawyer to look in the file.
Not bloody likely. Why would someone hire someone who sold them out?
>>> I am not and never have kept her from him.
Sigh, no the courts did that for you. Right?
>>> His family never contacts us.
It is your job to contact them.
>>> She has a Facebook page but never gets his from him
>>> or anyone in his family.
Have you bothered inviting them.
>>> They never even look for her.
You are assuming that.
>>> It has hurt her over the years.
Yes, it has hurt her more deeply than you know. It will show up when she tries to form relationships.
>>> First the abandonment when we were still married
>>> and now this.
Okay.
>>> It is in no way my fault,
That is a claim. I am not sure about that.
>>> I have taken the responsibility of my kids alone
>>> and would never do it any other way.
I see, no other way will do. Right.
>>> My daughters father doesn’t even answer the e-mails
>>> that I am in failing health with a bad heart for
>>> years now. Still I work full-time to provide most of
>>> the time going to work ill.
Ah, you poor martyr.
Build the (bleeping) relationship with the full family and spare us the sob story.
>>> I pass no judgement on the mother. Her daughter was
>>> too young to develop the disdain for her mother she
>>> has now. She has zero frame of reference. That means
>>> the father has badmouthed the mother. You don’t need
>>> any more “proof” than that. How about you looking at
>>> the fact that the kids suffered shock and trauma from
>>> the abrupt separation? Didn’t think about that, did you
>>> smartypants?
Yes, I did. Did you think about the shock and trauma that most judges inflict on children every day?
It is time to end the social experiment with divorce on demand.
It is time to end the abusive courts.
It is easy to play the good cop role when you have an entire state apparatus with thousands of willing bad cops to do the dirty work.
What have I been up to?
Lets see, I have stopped the horrible UCAPA legislation in about 8 states now... What have you done? Nothing I’ll bet. Don’t worry, they are not likely to accuse you of being a ‘potential abductor’ for a few more years or perhaps a decade or to. But they will certainly get your children or their spouses.
Lets see, I’ve tried to reform the state child support laws so that the state can’t demand 100% of a persons income, but for some reason, none of the legislators want to even admit that is a problem. Hmmm. What you done lately?
Lets see, I’ve tried to make the laws better so that dads don’t get chased away out of their children’s lives - much as yours was. Not having much success with that either. It seems the states prefer dysfunctional families - the lawyers make much more money that way.
Oh well, I am sure your children will thank you for the coming dictatorship... NOT.