[ApplegateRanch]

landed on Earth thousands of years ago, sharing their expertise with early civilizations and forever changing the course of human history.

I want reparations for the environmental damage that led to; and where's my foreign aid?

[SunkenCiv]

The only problem with your plan is, you’re actually descended from the extraterrestrial crash survivors (it was a colony ship filled with refugees from a planet destroyed by its star having gone nova), so it’s money you owe to yourself. Kinda like the national debt, but without the Chinese.