Funny Slogans
Advertisement In A Long Island Shop:
Guitar, for sale....... Cheap...........no strings attached.
Ad In Hospital Waiting Room:
Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ... One Lung At A Time!
On a bulletin board:
Success Is Relative. The more The Success, The more The Relatives.
(they will look for you..)
When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking...
I Gave Up Reading .
My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn’t Need Glasses...
He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle.
You Know Your kids Have Grown Up When:
Your Daughter Begins To Put On Lipstick..
Or when your Son starts To wipe It Off.
Sign In A Bar:
‘Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please do
Pay In Advance.’
Sign In Driving School:
If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don’t Stand In Her Way.
Behind Every Great Man,
There Is A Surprised Woman.
The Reason Men Lie Is Because
Women Ask too Many Questions.
Getting Caught
Is The Mother Of Invention.
Laugh And The World Laughs With You,
Snore And You sleep Alone.
The Surest Sign That Intelligent Life Exists Elsewhere In The Universe
Is The Fact That It Has Never Tried To Contact Us.
Sign At A Barber’s Saloon In Detroit :
We Need Your Heads To Run Our Business.
A Traffic Slogan:
Don’t Let Your Kids Drive If They are Not Old Enough
Or Else They Will Never Be.
Sign In A Restaurant:
All Drinking Water In This Establishment Has Been Personally Passed By The Manager.
Sign On A Famous Beauty Parlor Window:
Don’t Whistle At The Girls Going Out From Here.
She May Be Your Grandmother !
I think I posted this before, but not sure. Senior momeny:)
A pastor wanted to raise money for his church, and on being told that there was a fortune to be made in horses decided to purchase one and enter it in the races. At the local auction, however, the going price for a horse was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead.
He figured since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races, and to his surprise the donkey came in third. The next day the local paper carried this headline: “Pastor’s Ass Shows.”
The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won! The local paper read: “Pastor’s Ass Out Front.”
The bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local paper read: “Bishop Scratches Pastor’s Ass”.
The bishop was fit to be tied! He ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing the news, posted this headline the next day: “Nun Has Best Ass in Town.”
The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for ten dollars. The next day, the paper read: “Nun Sells Ass For $10.00.”
After the bishop was revived, he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read: “Nun Announces Her Ass Is Wild and Free”.
The bishop was buried the next day.
Don't drink and drive
We can wait