(-:~ThE oFfIcIaL fRiDaY sIlLiNeSs ThReAd~:-)

To: a fool in paradise

What was it? I can’t see the pic

81 posted on 04/09/2010 12:07:20 PM PDT by Lucky9teen (I'll just say the 2nd amendment to the Constitution is there for a reason!)

Creepy wide mouthed grinning cat with rolling eyes.

82 posted on 04/09/2010 12:08:53 PM PDT by a fool in paradise (VP Biden on Obamacare's passage: "This is a big f-ing deal". grumpygresh: "Repeal the f-ing deal")

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, “My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I’d better see a doctor.”

“Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,” Mike replies

“There’s a diagnostic computer down at WalMart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it.

It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars - A lot cheaper than a doctor.”

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to WalMart.

He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample.. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

“You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart..”

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results.. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results .

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don’t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

Thank you for shopping @ Walmart

83 posted on 04/09/2010 12:20:19 PM PDT by sunny48

Guido Paolino Lucrezia Benedetto

I love it!!!!!

84 posted on 04/09/2010 12:28:00 PM PDT by Lucretia Borgia (Never bring a knife to a gun battle. Never bring a community organizer to lead your army.)

muffler shop:
no appointment needed, we’ll hear you coming.

85 posted on 04/09/2010 12:34:10 PM PDT by absolootezer0 (2x divorced, tattooed, pierced, harley hatin, meghan mccain luvin', smoker and pit bull owner..what?)

To: Lucretia Borgia

Apparently my wrestler/transformer name is Kup Fortress Maximus. I’m not sure how to take that.

86 posted on 04/09/2010 12:38:30 PM PDT by Pan_Yan

I’ve always liked Rod O’Steele.

My coworkers and I have been watching Spartacus lately. We’ve come up with several that fit us:
Geriatricus
Farticus
Flatulus Maximus

As you can probably tell, we’re firefighters with too much time on our hands.

87 posted on 04/09/2010 12:48:37 PM PDT by GimpySadan (Redistribution of wealth? Sure...you first.)

AmberLamp is our mole on the inside. We'll preempt any strike from the Chechens. BWAHAHAHA!

88 posted on 04/09/2010 12:55:41 PM PDT by Daffynition ( In the span of one man's lifetime, only the individual has any potential - not the collective.)

To: Liberty Valance

89 posted on 04/09/2010 1:00:07 PM PDT by Daffynition ( In the span of one man's lifetime, only the individual has any potential - not the collective.)

My name is:

Valerio Wolfgang Ortwin Pallav

http://www.behindthename.com/random/

90 posted on 04/09/2010 2:06:54 PM PDT by I Hate Obama ("Sorry I had a fight in the middle of your Black Panther Party." -Forest Gump)

Hallo! My name is Inigo Montoyez. You keeled my fadduh! Prepare to die!

91 posted on 04/09/2010 2:14:40 PM PDT by Ingtar (Congress: proof that Entropy trumps Evolution)

Ha ha ha! I’ll get the pineapple and cherries!

92 posted on 04/09/2010 3:03:22 PM PDT by LongElegantLegs ( I have nothing better to do than sit around all night watching a lunatic not turn into a werewolf.)

93 posted on 04/09/2010 3:55:57 PM PDT by Pan_Yan

94 posted on 04/09/2010 5:37:27 PM PDT by mojitojoe (I don't care what you passed. you are irrelevant. I'll NEVER comply in any way. Read my lips, NEVER!)

“According to the National Enquirer, Oprah’s finally out of the closet” http://is.gd/bmcci

95 posted on 04/09/2010 6:30:38 PM PDT by BigSkyFreeper ("Ked Tennedy would have been plowed... I mean, proud today..." - Senator Max Baucus (Drunk-MT))

To: BigSkyFreeper

According to the National Enquirer, Oprah’s finally out of the closet

Geeeez, What a closet that must have been!

96 posted on 04/09/2010 6:31:51 PM PDT by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing.)

Bet it was a walkin-in closet about the size of my living room! LOL

97 posted on 04/09/2010 6:33:18 PM PDT by BigSkyFreeper ("Ked Tennedy would have been plowed... I mean, proud today..." - Senator Max Baucus (Drunk-MT))

To: BigSkyFreeper

If you couldn’t play at least a half-court game in there, it must have been a squeeze.

98 posted on 04/09/2010 6:50:52 PM PDT by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing.)

I think my name is pookaismydoggie but I can get onto Kate Of Spice Island on a different puter. I just don’t remember the password.

I guess my name can be FORGETFUL today.

99 posted on 04/09/2010 8:33:51 PM PDT by pookaismydog (The artist formerly known as Kate of Spice Island)

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