Signs of the Times:
Over an antique shop: "Remains to be seen."
In a brassiere shop window: "We're the real decoy."
At a brothel: "It's a business doing pleasure with you!"
In a butcher shop window: "Never a bum steer."
On a diaper service truck: "Rock a dry baby."
On a divorce lawyer's wall: "Satisfaction guaranteed or your honey back."
On a junkyard fence: "Edifice wrecks."
At a lumberyard: "Come see, come saw."
On a plumber's truck: "A flush beats a full house."
Over the psychiatrist's couch: "I shrink, therefore I am."
At Spooner's Tailor Shoppe: "It's our measure to pleat you!"
At the tire store: "We skid you not!"
A local craftsman here does custom counter tops, mostly in granite. The name of his company: The Counter Fitter.
Stephen Wright Stuff:
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery’s dead?
Why are they called buildings, when they’re already finished? Shouldn’t they be called builts?
Why are they called a-part-ments, when they’re all stuck together?
Why do banks charge you a “non-sufficient funds fee” on money they already know you don’t have?
If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?