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There was once a very influential farmer in a remote part of China, who had a problem. His chickens were losing their feathers and dying. H sought the counsel of the two wise men in town, Hing, who was a scientist, and Ming, who was a sorcerer.

Hing, who has had many advanced course hours in poultry science, consults the classic text in poultry disease, "Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Diseases of Chickens, But Were Afraid to Ask." In the book Hing finds a reference to the report of a study showing that feeding the chickens with an infusion of gum tree leaves is often a remedy for chickens losing their feathers. Meanwhile Ming reads obscure writings of ancient wise men, he meditates, and he reads tarot cards and examines the entrails of a pig. Getting no inspiration he uses his old standby, reading tea leaves. In a spark of discovery, it comes to him that an infusion of gum tree leaves is the cure.

So the two wise men report back to the influential Chinese farmer. Ming says, "As gum sticks to tables and chairs, so shall an infusion of gum tree leaves make feathers stick to chickens." Hing agrees, saying "Studies show that infusions of gum tree leaves alleviate feather loss in chickens." The influential Chinese farmer is ecstatic, for the two wisest men in town are of a single mind. He decides to follow their recommendation. It does not work.

Moral of the Story: "All of Hing's courses and all of Ming' ken couldn't get gum tea to feather a hen."

Penny was a hard working, conscientious girl, who lived on her own. Her dream in life was to go on an ocean cruise around the world. So she scrimped, and she saved, and she saved, and she scrimped until finally, one day, she had enough money to go on her ocean cruise. She booked passage on a cruise liner - first class all the way... The cruise started off in a grandiose scale, dancing and parties every night. But Penny was a cautious girl, so she never drank, but just danced the night away.

One night, after they had been at sea for a week, Penny was walking back to her cabin, when the heel on her left shoe broke throwing her off balance. If that wasn't enough, the ship chose that moment to tilt to the left. As a result, Penny was thrown overboard. A hue and a cry were immediately raised, and after about five minutes they found Penny. Hauling her aboard, the ship's crew realized that it was too late, poor Penny was dead.

Normally, they would have done a burial at sea, but as I said before, Penny was a very conscientious girl, and had written a will. In it, she specified that she wished for her body to be cremated, and kept in a jar on her parent's fireplace mantel. Her wishes were fulfilled, which just goes to show you that a Penny saved is a Penny urned.

There is a society whose members search for the perfect berry. Members grow berry bushes and cultivate crops. They cross breed berry varieties. They go on wild berry picking expeditions, all in hopes of finding the ultimate, perfect berry.

One day, a young, amateur berry enthusiast was out searching for berries without any success, when suddenly right in front of him, there it was. The perfect berry. The perfect size, the perfect shape, perfect color, perfect sheen, everything. He couldn’t believe it. Quickly he got out his berry guide to read how to pick the perfect berry and very carefully, very slowly, very gently, he picked the perfect berry. Quickly he hurried home with his treasure. He placed the perfect berry on a velvet pillow, under a glass jar. He thought he should notify the berry society about his find. Everyone would be so excited. Nobody in the world had ever found the perfect berry. He would be famous. Then he thought he could make money by charging admission to see the perfect berry. So that’s what the amateur berry enthusiast did, and sure enough, berry society members came from all over the world to see the perfect berry. And they paid him to stand around the glass case and stare at its perfect beauty.

After a few weeks the berry enthusiast was exhausted. Berry society members started lining up before dawn every day. They stayed in his house all day, staring at the perfect berry, exclaiming how perfect and beautiful it was. They didn’t leave until late at night. He wasn’t getting any sleep. He wasn’t getting any time to eat. He was making money, but he wasn’t happy with all the people in his house. He decided to close the perfect berry exhibit. The last day of the perfect berry exhibit arrived. The crowds were bigger than ever. People stayed and stared longer than ever. Finally, after midnight the man pushed the last berry society member out the door and closed it. Tired and hungry, he collapsed into a chair. Then the doorbell rang. Groaning, he stumbled to his feet and went to the door. Standing there were three men.

“Go away,” the berry owner said, “The perfect berry exhibit is closed.”

The man shook his head. “No,” he said, “You do not understand. We are thieves. And we are here to seize your berry, not to praise it.”