*~*~*ThE oFfIcIaL fRiDaY sIlLiNeSs ThReAd*~*~*

http://content.patriotpost.us ^

[Lucky9teen]

FACEBOOK PAGE: Can this Goat get more fans than Barack Obama?

Come on...become a fan on FaceBook

[Hoffer Rand]

Well, that sucks. Take it personally. ;-)

[Hoffer Rand]

We LOVE you, Lucky9teen!!

[CSM]

Awwww....

[Califreak]

IBTPTO

(In before they poll this one)

[Cyber Liberty]

When I was about that age, one of my Grandmother's roosters pecked at me mercilessly. We sat down to chicken ‘n’ dumplins that night, and I smiled.

Turned out, the rooster was really a roaster.

[JRios1968]

[Hoffer Rand]

Coworker went into the men’s room to use the facility. While he was on the throne, his security badge somehow managed to work itself off its lanyard. Naturally it dropped right between his legs and into the toilet, going straight to the bottom of the bowl. Now he has a dilemma, fish it out or go to Security and report what happened in order to get a new badge, thus becoming company legend. He opts for the former. He sits for another moment, bracing himself for what he must do. He rolls up his sleeve, preparing himself to, literally, dig around in cr@p. Once he gets his nerve up, he stands up and turns around, only to hear “shloooosh”. He’s forgotten it’s an automatic flush toilet...

Now he has to go and report a lost security badge to Security and try to explain why he shouldn’t have to wait the normal 5 days to get a new one, because he’s pretty sure this one isn’t going to be found.

So...how was YOUR day?

[JRios1968]

[JRios1968]

[JRios1968]

For 0bama:

[Lucky9teen]

Aww shucks...thank you.

[JRios1968]

[ShadowAce]

Sir Edgbert, knight of the realm, was hurrying home on a cold, dark, wet night when, suddenly, his horse suffered a major coronary and died on the spot. All Sir Edgbert could do was collect up what belongings he could and tramp onwards.

After staggering for a spell, he decides that he must get alternative transport. Accordingly, he heads for the nearest building which, as luck would have it, is a small farm. He strides up to the door, bangs on it and shouts 'A horse! A horse!. I must have a horse!".

The door opens to reveal a young girl. She looks at Sir Edgbert and says, "Your pardon, good night but my father and brothers are returning from the village on the other side of the forest and will not be back before noon tomorrow. They are riding all our horses".

Sir Edgbert is saddened by this and says "But I must return home immediately. Have you any idea where I may accuire alternative transportation?".

The young girl says "I know of no other horses hereabouts, but sometimes my brothers ride our Great Dane dog when the need arises. Would use of that help?"

Sir Edgbert is desperate and says "If I must, I must. Show me the animal". The young girl leads the way around to the back of the farmhouse to a stable. She dissapears inside and returns leading and enormous dogs which is quite of a size for riding. Unfortunately, the dog has seen better days. It's coat is threadbare, it's legs are spindly and it seems to be breathing labouriously.

Sir Edgbert looks at the young girl and says, "Surely, you wouldn't send a knight out on a dog like this?"

[Bean Counter]

We have a young roo we call “Fryer Cluck”, and another possible that my wife named “tetrazini”. We gloat about their impending doom with them all the time.

Nothing at all wrong with putting a young roo in the freezer before he gets too cocky and tough...

[ShadowAce]

Two men were in the process of inventing a new brand of gum. They were arguing over the fact that their new gum was too hard and brittle and didn't have the right consistency. One of the inventors kept arguing that they simply had to add more liquid to their primary secret ingredient, code named "Yewin".

The other man argued adamantly. "No, No, No! It's not wetter Yewin that counts... it's how you ply the gum!"

[Liberty Valance]

[ShadowAce]

In a kingdom far far away, and a long long time ago, a party was being given. To this party the king had invited everyone in the kingdom to his castle. And everyone was having a grand time. The wine was flowing, the tables were overflowing with food, and the dancing was beautiful.

Suddenly, out of thin air a gnarled old man appeared out of thin air. His hands clutched in tight fists by his body, smoke streaming from his shoulders, he walked up to the king and said, "How dare you have a party and not invite your own court wizard! For this insult I curse this castle with the dreaded Curse of the Fingers. Anyone who attempts to leave here will be rendered limb from limb by huge disembodied fingers!"

The wizard waved his bony arms about and shouted in a guttural foreign language. "There!", he said and vanished.

All at once, the people of the kingdom looked to their king. What would he do? How could he save them. The king pursed his lips and looked about him. Finally, he turned to his knights and asked for a volunteer to ride to the next kingdom and plead with their wizard to remove the curse. Of course all of the knights wished to go. The king selected the knight with the greatest seniority and sent him on his way.

The knight gathered up all his weapons, put on his best suit of armour and headed out. As soon as his foot stepped off of the drawbridge, gigantic yellow fingers appeared from nowhere and ripped him limb from limb.

One after another, each knight attempted to ride out of the castle, each one in turn was ripped to shreds. Finally, no knights were left.

The king looked about him. "Is there anyone else who would brave this curse and rescue us from this horrible curse?", he said.

"I will, sir!", said a small boy who had been serving one of the knights before he died.

The small boy packed up his belongings and provisions for the journey. Since he was a poor serving boy, and had no horse, he knew he would have to walk. But he was determined to succeed. As soon as he crossed the drawbridge, the yellow fingers appeared and tried to rip him apart. They couldn't! Each time the tried to grab him, the boy wriggled free and continued on his journey!

Several days later, the boy was back at the castle with the neighbouring kingdom's wizard. The king was overjoyed to have the curse lifted and he called the boy to him.

"How did you escape from those monstrous fingers? All my knights couldn't get past them and they were killed. How could you do it?"

The boy looked up at the king and replied, "Your majesty, it occurred to me as the last knight was being killed that the only way to escape this curse was to LET YOUR PAIGES DO THE WALKING THROUGH THE YELLOW FINGERS."