Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

To: SnarlinCubBear; JustAmy; stephenjohnbanker; Conspiracy Guy; Laura Earl
"I liked your poem MORE than Yeats’. How about that?"

It isn't too surprising. I write better poetry than he does.

I also sing and dance better than Michael Jackson, and I can even paint better than Vincent Van Gogh.

The reason for this apparent braggadocio on my part is that these people have stopped doing any of this, and I have not.

Another advantage I have over Yeats is that some of his language comes across as distant and stilted. Everyone knows that stilted language leads to higher thinking, but I'm just trying to get a mental image across, with my traditional trademark twist at the end.

Then again, Yeats' poem quoted above had an unusual rhyme scheme, being x a x a x a x a x a x a, where the x denotes unrhymed words and the "a" denotes words that rhyme with each other. As I said, unusual.

Here's one of mine (in keeping with the above "Smile" theme), showing the rhyme scheme a a b b, c c d d, e e f f. Somewhat more dense rhyming, and only slightly more difficult. As my friend David says, "Just put the words that rhyme at the end of the line." It's been working so far.

A Smile At A Dance

When you are dancing, it’s almost a rule,
A smile on your face should be taught in the school.
You’ll find that pretending you’re having great fun,
Comes true in the moments before you are done.

You may not have known the one now in your arms,
But somehow you now know of some of the charms!
A synthetic friendship that takes on a life,
And a smile at a dance could make someone a wife!

They told us of dangers of music and dance,
But I felt in control and I took on the chance.
Seems my luck got quite dizzy and it went on the skids,
You can tell what came next by my wife and my kids!

NicknamedBob . . . . . . . . . . . . . February 1, 2005

3,246 posted on 08/27/2009 3:10:54 PM PDT by NicknamedBob (I saw a horse-drawn wagon. I was wondering how it held the pencil.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3228 | View Replies ]


To: NicknamedBob

“They told us of dangers of music and dance,
But I felt in control and I took on the chance.
Seems my luck got quite dizzy and it went on the skids,
You can tell what came next by my wife and my kids!”

I presume that was the last dance you attended. Otherwise, bigamy and too many children could become a problem.


3,249 posted on 08/27/2009 3:34:38 PM PDT by stephenjohnbanker (Pray for, and support our troops(heroes) !! And vote out the RINO's!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3246 | View Replies ]

To: NicknamedBob

I like your poem too, NnB. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Did you post it at the old place? It kinda seems familiar.

Hope your Thursday was Terrific.


3,272 posted on 08/27/2009 4:27:29 PM PDT by JustAmy (Republicans think everyday is July 4th. Democrats think everyday is April 15th.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3246 | View Replies ]

To: NicknamedBob

BRAVO! Nice pome.


3,300 posted on 08/27/2009 8:41:51 PM PDT by SnarlinCubBear (Sarcasma - Comforting relief from the use of irony, mocking and conveying contempt)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3246 | View Replies ]

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article


FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson