IRS Audit
The IRS sends an auditor (a nasty little man) to audit a synagogue.
The auditor is doing all the checks, and then turns to the Rabbi and
says, “I noticed that you buy a lot of candles.”
“Yes,” answered the Rabbi.
“Well, Rabbi, what do you do with the candle drippings?” he asked.
“A good question,” noted the Rabbi. “We actually save them up. When
we have enough, we send them back to the candle maker and every now
and then, they send us a free box of candles.”
“Oh,” replied the auditor somewhat disappointed that his question
actually had a practical answer. So he thought he’d try another
question, in his obnoxious way...
“Rabbi, what about all these matzo purchases? What do you do with the
crumbs from the matzo?
“Ah, yes,” replied the Rabbi calmly, “we actually collect up the
crumbs, we send them in a box back to the manufacturer and every now
and then, they send a box of matzo balls.”
“Oh,” replied the auditor, thinking hard how to fluster the Rabbi.
“Well, Rabbi,” he went on, “what do you do with all the foreskins from
the circumcisions?”
“Yes, here too, we do not waste,” answered the Rabbi. “What we do is
save up all the foreskins, and when we have enough we actually send
them to IRS.”
“To the IRS?” questioned the auditor in disbelief.
“Ah, yes,” replied the Rabbi, “directly to the IRS ... And about once
a year, they send us a little prick like you.”
Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad calls Rush Limbaugh and tells him, “Rush, I had a wonderful dream last night. I could see America, the whole country, and on each house I saw a banner.”
“What did it say on the banners?” Rush asks.
Mahmoud replies, “UNITED STATES OF IRAN.”
Rush says, “You know, Mahmoud, I am really happy you called, because believe it or not, last night I had a similar dream. I could see all of Tehran, and it was more beautiful than ever, and on each house flew an enormous banner.”
“What did it say on the banners?” Mahmoud asks.
Rush replies, “I don’t know. I can’t read Hebrew.”