Posted on 07/24/2009 6:03:00 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
I get it... you’re going to hell for it... but I laughed anyway
AMA Health Care Plan
Apparently the American Medical Association has weighed in on the new health care plan...
The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.
The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the
Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.
The Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception.
Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.
Pathologists yelled, “Over my dead body!” while the Pediatricians said, ‘Oh, Grow up!’
The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.
Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, “This puts a whole new face on the matter.”
The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea. The Anesthesiologists thought the idea was a gas, and the Cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no.
In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the @holes in Washington.
| You Are Clogs |
 You seek – and almost always achieve – a really sound balance in your life. You are stylish yet comfortable. Mellow but driven. Excited yet calm. You are the perfect mesh of contradictions. No matter what happens, you have the ability to stay well grounded in your life. People know that they can truly depend on you. You should live: In Europe You should work: At a company dedicated to helping the world |
L0L!
I do many things for the hell of it.
I do things for fishy reasons.........for the halibut.
I’d laff haddock give a damn
AND THEN THE FIGHT STARTED...
My wife sat down next to me on the settee as I was flipping channels.
She asked, “What’s on TV?”
I said, “Dust.”
And then the fight started..
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
My wife and I were watching “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” while we
were in
bed. I turned to her and asked, “Do you want to have sex?”
“No,” she answered.
I then asked, “Is that your final answer?”
She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying, “Yes.”
So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”
And then the fight started.....
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and
slipped
quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat to the van, then
proceeded to
back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I
pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that
the
weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into
bed.
I
cuddled up to my wife’s back, now with a different anticipation, and
whispered, “The weather out there is terrible..”
My loving wife of one year replied, “Can you believe my stupid husband
is
out fishing in that?”
And then the fight started...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I rear-ended a car this morning. So there we were alongside the road,
and
slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you
just
get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well, I
couldn’t believe it. He was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car and looked at me, then shouted, “I AM NOT
HAPPY!!!”
So I looked down at him and said, “Well, then, which one are you?”
And then the fight started...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, “I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3
seconds.”
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
When I got home last evening, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive...so I took her to a gas station.
And then the fight started...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
After retiring, I went to apply for Social Security. The woman behind
the
counter asked for my driver’s license to verify my age. I looked in my
pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman
that I
was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, “Unbutton your shirt.” So I opened my shirt, revealing
my
curly silver hair. She said, “That silver hair on your chest is proof
enough for me.” Then she processed the Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about the experience at the
Social
Security office.
She said, “You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
disability too.”
And then the fight started...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion. I
kept staring
at a drunken woman swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table
My wife asked, “Do you know her?”
“Yes,” I sighed. “She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to
drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
hasn’t
been sober since.”
My wife said, “My Gosh! Who would think a person could go on
celebrating
that long?”
And then the fight started...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I took my wife to a restaurant. For some reason, the waiter took my
order
first....
“I’ll have the steak medium-rare, please..”
He asked, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”
Nah. She can order for herself.”
And then the fight started...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not
happy
with what she sees. She says to her husband, “I feel horrible. I look
old,
fat, and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.”
The husband replies, “Your eyesight’s dang near perfect.”
And then the fight started...
That’s great.
subtle. But funny!
That was a Laugh out Loud, I’m still chuckling.
I think someone needs to clean the grout a little better. Looks like someone has an “aim” problem.
ping for sharing
The chiropractors said it isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
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