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Gee, after reading the following, I better take a low family profile... LOL

Cash for Seniors

By Neil Braithwaite Tuesday, August 4, 2009

-Satire-<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Tired of visiting the retirement home when you could have been out playing golf? How about all those long hours spent in the doctor’s waiting room when you could have been getting things done at home, or spending all your hard earned vacation money to pay for up-fitting your spare room to meet an elderly parent’s needs?

Thanks to President Obama, those are worries of the past!

The “Cash for Clunkers” program was such a success that the Obama administration is planning a new health care supplemental program called, “Cash for Seniors.”

The Cash for Seniors program will allow individuals and families to get out from under the staggering costs and burden of taking care of an elderly relative.

The program will give an initial tax credit of $10,000 for every qualified senior remitted to the government, as well as a $2,500 tax credit for every year thereafter that the senior is alive. There is a limit of four senior credits per household.

To qualify for the Cash for Seniors program, the prospective senior must be an immediate relative, currently live in or near the United States, have a legal social security number, breath on their own, be 90% coherent and have been insured for the past two years.

Qualified participants and seniors will relinquish all familial, financial and inheritance rights to the federal government. Seniors will be housed in one of our state of the art government senior centers throughout the United States and Puerto Rico.

The Cash for Seniors program is designed with several goals in mind. The program will stimulate an ailing economy by putting money back into the pockets of hard working Americans through increased productivity by allowing formerly time-strapped caregivers the ability to maintain full-time work and finally enjoy quality leisure time again. The program will also reduce health care costs by putting seniors on a fully funded government “end of life” managed care program that not only gives them a better quality of life, but immediate relief from unappreciative family caregivers. This much-needed program gives both caregivers and seniors the peace and dignity they truly deserve.

So grab granny and gramps and that crazy old aunt you have been so inconvenienced with all these years and head on down to the government center to see if they qualify. Or just log onto http://www.cashforseniors.gov and apply online.

Either way, you’ll be glad you did.

NOTE: SATIRE!!!