You are (unsurprisingly) gracious, though I know nothing of your situation. I suspect all marriages, even “successful” marriages, bury a varying amount of “difficulties”, but IMHO the benefits (for us 30 years plus and still going) still outweigh the rest.
I struggled for 16 years with him, but when I had three TIA’s, and his response was effectively “who cares?” that was when I decided I’d be better off without him. I was 43.
He could have been a lot different, but he didn’t want to be. So when I knew he was dying, I wrote to him and told him I had forgiven him for everything.
Forgiveness is often mistaken for weakness. But my heart feels better.