I had to laff.
We went to a chinese restaurant once, and a friend had tendonitis. The old Chinese woman assured her she could fix it up.
Well she wrapped it in noodles and ginger and various spices and sent her home with the warning:
“Dont let you dog in the bed! You gonna wake up and the medicine gonna be gone!”
At another Chinese Buffet, My friend marveled at a delicious stir fry labeled “chicken,vegetable”
He called over the proprietor, an ol gal named “toy” and asked whats in this?
She loudly admonished: “What? you cant read?!! Chicken!!, Vegetable!!”