One day the old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he’s lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
The old German Shepherd thinks, ‘Oh, oh! I’m in deep doo-doo now!’ Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly, ‘Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?’
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. ‘Whew!’ says the leopard, ‘That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly had me!’
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old German Shepherd sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up.
The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, ‘Here monkey, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine!
Now, the old German Shepherd sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, ‘What am I going to do now?’, but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old German Shepherd says...
‘Where’s that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!
Moral of this story...
Don’t mess with the old dogs... age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get
their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end
of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began
to tell their stories.
Kathy said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of
egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in
A basket on the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in
The road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess."
"And what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!" "Very good,"
said the teacher.
Next little Lucy raised and hand and said, "Our family are
farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat
market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched
we only got ten live chicks and the moral to this story is don't
count your chickens until they're hatched."
"That was a fine story Lucy. Johnny, do you have a story to share?"
"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my Aunt Mary.
Aunt Mary was a flight engineer in Desert Storm and her plane
got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had
was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't
break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops.
She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out
of bullets, then she killed twenty more with the machete till the
blade broke and then she killed the last ten with her bare hands.
"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral
did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?
"Stay the Hell away from Aunt Mary when she's been drinking."