Cheesy math humor....
At John F. Kennedy International Airport today, a high school mathematics teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor and a graphical calculator. According to law enforcement officials, he is believed to have ties to the Al-Gebra network. He will be charged with carrying weapons of math instruction. It was later discovered that he taught the students to solve their problems with the help of radicals!
If you don’t laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma!
This is even funnier when you realize it’s real! Next time you have a bad
day at work think of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana .
He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an
E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2
FM in Ft. Wayne, Indiana , who was sponsoring a worst job experience
contest. Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you’ve been feeling
down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to
make you realize it’s not so bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a
few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea.. I wear a suit to the office. It’s a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool.
So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial
water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It
heats it to a delightful temperature.
It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is
taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and
I’ve used it several times with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose
and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit
with warm water. It’s like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
With in a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what
had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my
suit. Now, since I don’t have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn’t stick to it However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with
Five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three
agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes
before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of
laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to
rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn’t poop for two days because
my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you’re having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, ‘I love my job, I love my job, I love my
job.’
Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?
May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!
Pass this on to all your friends, just incase they’re having a bad day!!!