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LOL

>>>Many Husbands are utterl} spoiled by mismanagement in cooking and
so are not tender and good.

Some women go about it as if their husbands were bladders, and l^low
them up; others keep them constantly in hot water; others let them freeze 5y
their carelessness and indifference. Some keep them in a stew by irritating
ways and words, others roast them, and others keep them in a pickle all their
lives.

It cannot be supposed that any husband will be tender and good,
managed in this way, but they are really delicious when properly treated.

In
selecting your husband you should not be guided by the silvery appearance
as in buying mackerel, nor by the golden tint, as if you wanted salmon. Be
sure to select him yourself, as tastes differ. Do not go to the market for
him, as the best are always brought to the door.

It is far better to have
none unless you will patiently learn how to cook him.

A preserving kettle
of the finest porcelain is best, but if you have nothing better than an earthen-
ware pipkin, it will do with care.

See that the linen in which you wrap him
is nicely washed and mended, with the required number of buttons and strings
nicely sewed on.

Tie him in a kettle by a strong silken cord called Comfort.
as the one called Duty is apt to be weak. He is apt to fly out of the kettle
and be burned and crusty on the edges, since, like crabs and lobsters, you
have to cook him while alive.

Make a clear, steady fire out of love, neatness
and cheerfulness, set him as near this as seems to agree with him. If he
sputter and fizz, do not be anxious about him. some husbands do this until they
are quite done.’ Add a little sugar in the form of what confectioners call
;kisscs, but ,iTo vinegar or pepperxnust be used on any account. A little spice
improves them, but it must be used with care and judgment.

Do not stick
any sharp instrument into him to see if he is becoming tender, stir him gently,
watch the while, and you cannot fail to know when he is done.

If thus treated
you will find him very digestible, agreeing nicely with you and the children,
and he will keep as long as you wish, unless you become careless and set him
in too cold a place.
<<<

Hmmmmm.....

Granny trying to tell us something???