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Is this an April Fool’s joke?

Benjamin Wade.
A world class musician who dallies in soccer coaching at a Baptist University???

Self proclaimed “Renaissance Man” (always a bad sign) who is prone to animal attacks.

“To say that he is a Type A, Alpha male, who likes to control the environment around him may just be an understatement.” To say he sucks at it would be spot on. He sounds more like an OUT OF CONTROL loose canon to me.

“Benjamin is single.” Uh, I’m pretty sure he’s married to his ego.

OK, now for the rest.

Brendan Synnott ... self made millionaire, played team sports, doesn’t seem full of himself AND he does not look like a physical threat though I suspect he will be. If he keeps his millionaire status secret he could make it to the final three.

Candace Smith ... first off, no lawyer should have body like that. Just isn’t right. But what’s with the lame tattoo? No, tats aren’t a big deal to me, just that this one looks stupid and is in a stupid place. So, she doesn’t practice law any more and she’s writing a book about herself...at 31. “As an attorney, she mastered the skills of mental combat and knows how to create a strong bargaining position...” Excuse me. (bbbbaaaaaaaaarrrrrrfffffffff...) Sorry. This is a female Barry Soetero and hopefully will not last three days. It will be impossible for her to contain herself. If you have ever dealt with a black, female, “feminist”, whitey can’t tell me what to do, I’m gonna make you pay for slavery attorney types before, you will know what I am talking about.

Debra Beebe ... AKA Bubbles. Debra “juggles her husband.” WTH does that mean? He’s a retard whom she must care for and does nothing for her or their family? “With her abilities as a natural leader combined with her bossy and competitive nature, Debra plans to focus on the weaknesses of others in an effort to get them eliminated.” Uh....no.

Erinn Lobdell... “is very athletic and is constantly training for the next big event. She recently completed training for a marathon and works out everyday to stay in great shape.” Could be one of those who makes it to the final three by taking care of number one and flying under the radar....flying under the radar being key. (That, and/or hooking up with a guy and using him. And I mean that in a good way.)

Jerry Sims... hehehehehehe. There are usually two types of guys that become lifer Army sergeants, the stereotypical autocrat or the (contrary to popular perception) easy going, very competent leader who only barks when there is a real reason to. I’m suspecting Jerry is the latter kind. If he is in as good a shape as he says he is, he should go far.

Sierra Reed... model. Not “no”. HELL NO.

Tyson Apostol...”His favorite movie is “The Jerk” and that’s how some people just might describe him.” “he has no tolerance for “know-it-alls” or individuals who lack common courtesy...” In addition, he describes his hobby as “looking awesome”.
Please, please, please, do not be in an alliance with “Renaissance Man”. Having these two prima donnas going against each other could possibly make the show.

Carolina Eastwood.... are we sure this isn’t the “Jalapeno” tribe? I’m just saying. Anyway, this chick is hard to peg just going on her profile info. She seems like a real world survivor, she respects her mom, she’s into sports (surfing is very physical...take my word for it if you’ve never done it), and she’s a dog person. I like all of that. But in her picture she standing in a beauty queen pose. What’s up with that? She’s a wild card. It will really depend on her personality, but I think she has the right intestinal fortitude to go far.

James “JT” Thomas Jr.... a “southern charmer who is responsible for all the paperwork and marketing associated with running the business.” Hmmmm....they didn’t write up JT as much as some of the others. If his “charm” is authentic and he is more of a “Colby” southerner than a redneck southerner (I’m southern...I can say that)he will go pretty far. What I REALLY want to see is, at some point, JT and Candace on the same team. I suspect she will despise everything he is and represents. You know... being a regular person with an accent who (hopefully) could care less about her victimization/entitlement mentality.

Joe Dowdle.... “Joe truly is a genuine Texas Cowboy. He “plans to use a strategy he calls “persuade and evade”...all while staying just below the radar.” OK, I really like Texans...bless their hearts. But ain’t no way this guy will stay under the radar. Not genetically possible. Sorta like JT, it depends on how he comes across. Some people can be braggarts and still come across as likable, others come across as Benjamin Wade.

Sandy Burgin.... the kind of person who usually hangs around under the radar, but not long enough to make it to the final three. Although, if I understand correctly, this season they vote two people off right at the word “go”. Which means appearance and instant first impressions is all they will have to go on. Under those circumstances, Sandy may not last five minutes. Not being mean, just calling it like I see it.

Spencer Duhm... “Spencer is a gay”. That’s not me saying that. That’s Spencer. What is it with gay guys on Survivor? Heteros don’t “announce” their sexual preferences as part of their bios. Do gay guys that go on Survivor get extra action in the steam rooms or something? GeeZZZ!!!! Spencer....you’re not giving us a chance to NOT care. You shouldn’t be voted off...you should be slapped around, tied up, and pushed down the river in a burning canoe.

Stephen Fishbach...”believes he’s a cutthroat player who can manipulate his way to SURVIVOR success, though you couldn’t tell that by looking at his non-threatening appearance.” Ahhh... a back stabber. He should go far. The kind that, if he makes it to the final three, won’t get any votes because...he’s a back stabber.

Sydney Wheeler.... yes. the fact that I’m from North Carolina and work in Raleigh influences my perception of this girl. She is a “model”. Well, nobody’s perfect. But she doesn’t seem like the “head up her ass” or ditzy type model. “God put us on Earth to do good things, big things and that’s what I’m trying to do and achieve in life.” How can you be against that? “Sydney knows she can use her winning personality, along with her beauty, her body and her brains, to charm people.” I think it depends on whether she really does have brains...and no way to tell that here. And finally, “Sydney is in a relationship.” See! When it would really be NICE to know if someone is gay...we get vagueness.

Tamara “Taj” Johnson-George .... If not for the hyphen I could probably pull for Taj. She is certainly one of the more interesting people on the show. “Growing up in Brooklyn, Taj overcame both physical and mental abuse in her life.” Not sure why people in Brooklyn are mentally and physically abused, but the non sequitur issue aside, I think she could kick butt and take names...figuratively and physically. She admits she has trust issues. If she is in an alliance, that should help her. If it prevents her from being in an alliance, it will hurt her.