You fakir!
RIMMER: Why’re you all looking at me like that? Like, as if this is all my fault? Have you any idea what kind of day I’ve had? I’ve been kidnapped, stripped, oiled, menaced, manacled, licked, nibbled, chained, tortured, humiliated, and I nearly had a knobbly thing the size and shape of a Mexican agave cactus jammed up where only customs men dare to probe.
Cactus, an essential part of this complete weirdness.