I need help being a suck-up

Me | 01/20/2009 | Glenn

[Glenn]

I need to suck-up to my boss.

He is a scotch drinker. I know nothing about scotch.

What can I purchase for him that will really impress him?

[irishtenor]

That’s what you wash your whiskey glass with afterwards, to sterilize it.

[RightOnTheLeftCoast]

"Sounds expensive. Thanks for the tip!"

Not as much as some, and really sublime, and quite frankly worth it. I'll have a wee dram tonight, neat, couple drops of water to open the flavor, in a heavy round cut crystal glass. Marvelous-- a treat for all the senses.

The Economist may be a priggish eurosocialist rag, but their coverage of whisky-related topics is excellent. They had an article in their Dec. 21, 2000 issue on the science of ageing whisky that was really wonderful but unfortunately is available online only to paying subscribers. It's worth chasing down in a library. Meanwhile, their latest article on the topic is http://www.economist.com/world/britain/displaystory.cfm?story_id=12955266&fsrc=rss

[RightOnTheLeftCoast]

Agreed about Laph. Undrinkable.

But a very small amount of water can do remarkable things to the flavor of a good whisky. I used to view water as a pollutant but have come around. Just a few drops, mind you.

[DustyMoment]

IBTZ???

(Are you freakin’ kidding me?? The LAST thing you want to do to suck up to your boss is buy him scotch - he can buy his own. BE the most valuable employee walking the face of the earth!!! THAT will impress him.)

[drjimmy]

Depends what you want to spend, but Oban is an incredible single-malt......

I spent Easter of 1979 in Oban and sampled quite a bit of the local product. Last year for my birthday my wife got me a bottle. The select friends I have let have a taste have marveled at its smoothness.

[who_would_fardels_bear]

One word: Oban

[Glenn]

Are you freakin’ kidding me?? The LAST thing you want to do to suck up to your boss is buy him scotch - he can buy his own. BE the most valuable employee walking the face of the earth!!! THAT will impress him.

I am not in marketing. I have to do what I can.

[thefactor]

if you haven’t heard from pharmboy on this topic, you haven’t gotten all the info. he’s a scotch-meister.

[PAR35]

Get a good single malt instead of a blended.

[tx_eggman]

Macallan. Go for the 20 year single malt.

The 18 year Macallan is better bang for the buck. I'm also fond of the Balvenie 21 Year Portwood.

Both chime in at around $135

[Glenn]

One word: Oban

There are many on this thread who agree. I'm moving it to the top of the shopping list.

[Kevmo]

I just need to jockey for position.
***Tell him you’re a freeper and invite him over for the fun.

[kalee]

I wouldn’t buy him the most expensive brand, that might make him think he’s paying you too much.

[Grizzled Bear]

Glen Morangie is the best I’ve tasted. It easily beats out Glen Livet. Glen Fiddich is better than Chivas, but so is horse piss.

[Grizzled Bear]

Glen Morangie is the best I’ve tasted. It easily beats out Glen Livet. Glen Fiddich is better than Chivas, but so is horse piss.

[DustyMoment]

I am not in marketing. I have to do what I can.

It's not a question of being in marketing. It's going out in your company and being the guy that your boss sees everywhere he looks. Somebody needs supplies delivered to their desk, YOU deliver them. Someone else needs help figuring out how to do something on the computer, YOU'RE the guy giving the help. Someone else needs help cleaning up a mess on the floor, YOU're the one helping.

It's not rocket science . . . . . it's BEATING him at his own game. You buy him a bottle of scotch and it sends a message that you don't want to send. The kind you want to send is greeting him when he first walks into the office in the morning with a cup of coffee, a stack of reports and a bagel or muffin or something

[Dinsdale]

Unless you know his pour don’t do it.

Scotch is very diverse, particularly the single malts.

Some are light, almost like an Irish.

Some are very heavy, to me like drinking medicinal iodine.

Some have so much ocean in their taste and nose.

About the only thing they have in common is some level of peatyness.

A true suck up would find out his drink hook or crook. Ask his secretary, she knows.

Suck up to her as well. Everybody is sucking up to the boss. You will be the only one sucking up to the boss’s secretary.

BTW !$#&+`#@ $%$^@$% $#%_$% !$#&`#@ $%$^@$% !#$!* *&$$= !$#&+`#@ $%$^@#$% suckup!. ;-)

[PAR35]

As an alternative to my serious suggestion above; you could try something offbeat. Look for a jar (it’s sold in Mason jars not bottles) of Georgia Moon. It’s a legal clear corn whiskey. And unlike most of the old stuff on the shelf of the liquor store it is generally sold fairly fresh. If he doesn’t want to drink it he can always use it to start his charcoal grill or as a paint remover.

[who_would_fardels_bear]

"Some are very heavy, to me like drinking medicinal iodine"

I keep some Lagavulin around just in case of a nuclear incident.

Sure beats those nasty iodine pills! ;-)