On a Saturday night a man walked into a pub, and he had a monkey on his shoulder. The monkey scampers over to the billy-yard table, picks up the cue ball, then puts it in his mouth and swallows it.
The man returns with the monkey the following weekend. The monkey hops on to the bar, picks up an olive, sticks it up his bum, then swallows it whole.
The shocked bartender says, “I saw that—that was disgusting!”
The man replied, “He always measure things now, after swallowing that cue ball.”