Alagador says I should look at the Marines. That would certainly annoy Grandmama. Also, I might get to shoot people, which the Army would definitely not let me do.
Cousin Rick would be pleased. There haven’t been any other Marines in the family.
There’s got to be some specialty in some service that would let you shoot people and blow things up. Keep searching the services’ websites! Maybe you could be a demolition specialist and blow up buildings and bridges.