[Soaring Feather]

Happy Hump Day, everyone!!

[tomkow6]

Simple Home Remedies from My "Voices"

Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.

Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then you'll be afraid to cough.

You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape.. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and it does, use the duct tape.

Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

[yorkie]

Happy Wednesday at Dragonflies' Lair!

[Lady Jag]

[Lady Jag]

 

Lady Jag's Personal Horrorscope for Wednesday, August 13, 2008 No man walks with dignity whose step is rushed.

---

 

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

Fortune will smile upon you today! That's what it does when it's just thought up a real corker.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

You will take a wrong turn, today, and become hopelessly lost. Eventually you will start a new life in Minnesota, along with all the other people who have little sense of direction. It'll be ok, providing you like tuna casserole.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

Good day to mumble.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

A person of Irish descent will attempt to sell you something you don't especially want, today. Strive to turn the conversation to Tilapia (a type of freshwater fish) -- you'll find it's his new hobby.

Leo (July 23 - August 22)

Good day to hold hands. If you don't currently have a spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend, you can probably find a fake "severed hand" at a magic supplies store. That might be a good thing to pick up in any case? You never know when it might come in handy.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

Stay well clear of anti-tachyon beams, today.

Libra (September 22 - October 22)

Good day to have some fun with fake fur and spirit gum. Now you can see what chest hair would really be like, or go for the "Madonna" look. Or you can simply opt for hairy palms -- that's always fun.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

It was a simple mistake, which anyone could have made. What's more, now you know better. I think, though, that the expression is too widespread for you to actually get it changed to "never look a gift horse in either end."

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

You've been getting tired of the same old "look", day after day. Maybe you should get a tattoo? I'll bet people with tattoos never get tired of 'em!

Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)

Today, everyone around you will make you severely annoyed. The important thing is to remember that, in the long run, they're all dead.

Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)

You will be detained by the police today, on suspicion of having removed a tag from a mattress. Eventually they will let you go with just a warning.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

A good time to learn to laugh at yourself. Or, develop multiple personalities! That way you won't be laughing at you, you'll be laughing with you.

[MEG33]

I am up in the wee hours watching the Olympics..
Happy Hump Day!