Lady Jag's Personal Horrorscope
|
It's time to start setting higher goals. Don't get stuff to make a salad and then let it rot in the fridge. Get stuff to make several salads, and start your own compost pile!
As Buckaroo Banzai said, "No matter where you go, there you are." Oddly, this will not be entirely the case for you, today.
Today you will find a small speckled egg, shimmering a little, in the fireplace. If you keep it warm in a 350 degree oven for 3 weeks, it will hatch into a small dragon, and then eat you.
Someone will try to give you an egg salad sandwich today. Refuse them. Be polite, yet firm.
You will finally figure out what the problem is, with your car! Basically, it has developed a sense of humor.
Today you will begin work on a life-size pterodactyl robot, which you will use to terrorize the city. Either that or you'll take a nap. It just depends what sort of mood you're in.
Hide.
Today you will learn how to tell the difference between an octopus and a cuttlefish. Aside, that is, from the octopus' greater problem solving capability.
Today you will realize that your biggest problem is indecisiveness. Or possibly procrastination. Tomorrow may be a better day to figure out which.
Good day to review what you know about hamsters. I think that's all I should really say, except possibly that it's often considered impolite to see how much food you can pack into your cheeks, when dining out.
You will tell a total stranger that you're "sick and tired of salad", today. The stranger will recoil in shock and horror.
Today you should enjoy "postlaunch solarizing." Q: What does that mean? A: How should I know? It's your life, you tell me. |
Some sad news to report from Music biz South Park Chef Issac Hayes had died of stroke according to Fox news
And another report from Jerserlum Post now being report that Russia jet bomb Israel build plant in Russia Georgia
Now being report off UK Times that Russia Georgia want ceasefire NOW