[Lady Jag]

I wonder what Sarah Palin's birthday is.

 

Lady Jag's Personal Horrorscope for Saturday, August 30, 2008 It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes. Sir Thomas Beecham

---

 

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

Remember: people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. It's ok to throw mashed potatoes, however.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

You will write a newspaper article about the Internet today. Why not? Everybody else has.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

Today you will discover a way to have your cake and eat it too! Unfortunately, everyone else will think that's really disgusting.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

Beware of celery.

Leo (July 23 - August 22)

You will spend today in a state of mild anxiety. Probably Ohio.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

Life is beginning to get a bit stale, isn't it? Whenever that happens to me, I concoct some sort of prune-related recipe and send it off to the food editor of the local daily. You might give that a try.

Libra (September 22 - October 22)

Today you will develop a type of rubber overshoe that looks like dinosaur's feet. They will become wildly popular, after your appearance on the Letterman show.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

If you don't start flossing more often, the tooth fairy will be a constant companion. Start taking better care of yourself.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

You will make the startling discovery that most of the lawyers and judges in your county have been possessed by demons. In fact, they weren't kidding when they said that possession was nine tenths of the law...

Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)

Beware! The Celestial Jade Emperor may banish you to the Big Grumpy Place if you don't start paying more attention to the four Winds. Obviously, this is a metaphor, somehow involving Cleveland.

Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)

Good day to take up Rap music as a career. Either that or plumbing. (Most people are strangely unaware of the similarities.)

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

This might be a good time to recontextualize your imponderables. If you know what I mean.

 

[Allegra]

Leo (July 23 - August 22)

You will spend today in a state of mild anxiety. Probably Ohio.

Humph! Nothing mild about where I am. And it's nowhere near Ohio. ;-)

[SevenofNine]

OH LORDY this funny article from TMZ.com about MSNBC blow up

http://www.tmz.com/2008/08/30/its-my-party-and-ill-be-a-little-bitch-if-i-want-to/