[Lady Jag]

Beanbag chairs were great until you tried to get out of them.

 

Lady Jag's Personal Horrorscope for Sunday, August 24, 2008 "It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens." -- Woody Allen

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Aries (March 21 - April 19)

You will answer the phone today by shouting "You bloated sack of protoplasm!." Unfortunately, it's not your friend calling. It's your mother.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

Be careful if you try to be funny, today. Although you are normally renowned for your dry wit, you may be a bit soggy, today.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

Your butler will quit, today, in a tiff. Since you can only view gif and jpeg, though, it will be quite some time before you realize that.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

Good time to consider capitalizing on the wave of 70's nostalgia that is sweeping the land. Why not try making shag carpeting? At least you should sit around in your beanbag chairs and discuss it.

Leo (July 23 - August 22)

If you love someone, let them go. If you hate someone, grab 'em and hang on like a dog with a stick. Snarl a bit, too -- that's always fairly effective.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

Everyone will stare at you like deer in headlights this week at the office. Actually, you will later decide that driving your car around inside the office may not be your best-ever idea.

Libra (September 22 - October 22)

You will need two torches, a sword, leather armor, and a significant amount of courage today. And for heaven's sake, don't forget the twine.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

You will discover, today, that you can whistle and hum at the same time. This will entertain you for hours.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

You will discover that you've always had the power to go home, simply by tapping the heels of your bunny slippers together. Unfortunately, as you will also soon discover, it's not your home.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)

You will have an enormously exciting day, today, compared to your usual day. You will find the prize in the cereal box.

Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)

You will be walking along today when you overhear someone making a snide remark about you, drawing an unflattering comparison between your personality, and landfill. A snappy reply will occur to you, sometime late next week.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

You'll get your big break today! Try not to blow it. And stand up straight - shoulders back! That's better.

 

[Soaring Feather]

Cancer (June 21 - July 22) Good time to consider capitalizing on the wave of 70's nostalgia that is sweeping the land. Why not try making shag carpeting? At least you should sit around in your beanbag chairs and discuss it.

Oh, how I hated those bean bags, I bought them for the kids, they loved them. Now they can't get out of them either. LOL

[NicknamedBob]

"Beanbag chairs were great until you tried to get out of them."

Hah! Nonsense, and stuff too. All you have to do is make a gracious dismount, just like from a surfboard.

[SevenofNine]

Breaking news from Sky news report of Iranian bound Jet crash into Kyrdatrion at this hour

Also report from SKY news too that Brit cops busted three Islamic jihaists in the UK try whack PM Gordie Brown

[MEG33]

AHA! It’s the humidity that’s the problem..I am getting no laughs at all.