Laz,
Let me ask you a question - what were you looking for when you met her? Did you give yourself enough time to get to know her before you started talking marriage, or did you fall in love with an image of what you wanted that prevented you from pulling the curtain back and seeing what was really there?
I’m not lecturing you because I have definitely been there and done that more times than I care to admit. Years ago, when a really bad “relationship” ended after 9+ years, I put myself out to pasture so I could take a long look at me and get to know who I was. After a long string of failed relationships, the one common element in all of them was me.
6 years later, I was ready to date again. I found my wife and we got married and have remained happily so for over 14 years. Sometimes, we create images in our minds that interfere with us seeing what is right in front of us because we don’t want to see those things. Fortunately for me, the image I had of my wife matched the reality.
I’m sorry your relationship ended the way that it did - it’s a bitter pill to swallow. By the same token, at least you found out BEFORE you tied the know with her.
Good luck.
EXACTLY! I fell in love with the image of who she was.