True. When I met her, she was an office manager for a fairly good-sized company. She was smart, successful, and interested in me. She was religious (if not especially spiritual) and she was a Girl Scout mom and active in volunteering. She seemed AMAZING.
But, to a person, all my friends who met her were very circumspect but telling me I wasn't seeing things accurately.
I began to notice her decisions seemed crazier and crazier. Actually, I'm sure the decisions were the same. It's just that I as beginning to see.
I believe it takes about 2.5 years of befriending someone before you know them well enough to know whether they would be a good match for marriage.
I am patient; I will agree to wait 2.5 days.
But all of us can be fooled. All of us have made mistakes so we are ready to overlook some mistakes by others. You were in the throes of infatuation and no doubt she tried her hardest to cover up her weaknesses so as to appeal to what she surely saw as a “great catch.”
She always called me just that.
She was able to pull it off for a time. Be glad you are a conservative and not a lib or you probably already would have moved in (and fathered twins??)! :)
I almost moved in. I almost married.
Please look at women a little differently. Don’t seek out “hot.” “Hot” is so superficial.
I don't mean hot to YOU, I mean hot to ME. She had a lot of hanging-damaged skin from being about 200 lbs overweight for most of her life. She had lost a lot of that weight, but she wasn't amazingly 'hot'. She was a little prettier than average, but she wasn't 'hot'.
But she was hot to ME.
That's all I need.
Yeah, I had friends who were not quite as nice as yours were. When I married the first time they all waited until we split up to tell me they never liked him, etc.
Next time, definitely run the woman past all the friends who love you. And listen to them. If they all are saying similar things, they MIGHT be right.
I think you are very smart and funny and would INDEED be a good catch!
I'm guessing or half-remembering that you are Jewish (as am I). I know you can't just go to shul and find a good conservative woman there (because they seem to all be bleeding-heart libs!!! Don't get me started!). Maybe working on a campaign or volunteering in some conservative activities? I hope and pray you find some one who is a great friend to you. That's really what you need. I'd get a lockbox for your "junk" for a long time and just check out people's character and personality. I know you don't agree but I think it would be a smart thing to do. You think sexual satisfaction would help you be happy but just thinking like that right now can lead you down a wrong path.