[Conspiracy Guy]

LOL. My thoughts were, “How much would you pay for pictures of Hadley Grace? But wait we will throw in the miracle carpet cleaner and pet urine remover at no additional charge. And if you call now you’ll also receive the full Billy May commercial CD set. All this for only three payments of $19.95.”

Sorry I couldn’t help myself.

[OESY]

Wait a cotton-pickin' moment, Billy. I know a flimflam when I see one. You're supposed to charge $19.95 only once, then add $42 for S&H (green stamps?). I'm not going to pay one red cent more, and I will require a battery-operated (batteries not included) black light flashlight to be able to pretend to find the urine stains--if (and it's a big "IF") it's totally dark and I shut my eyes and feel for wetness. I also need a Rosetta Stone CD to learn the Billy Mays shtick, or is that the Video Professor(?). (I can't recall right now.) Anyway, you need to clean up your act before we do business, and say "hello" to Hadley for us.

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[OESY]

Happy National Empanada--International Bird Day! *


* All empanadas have been deboned, defeathered and declawed, but act today and take advantage of our Special Offer on Duck Lips Soup, a seasonal specialitality of the House, all for only $19.95 plus S&H. Just select your mode of delivery: email, smail, 5-day overnight delivery, pony express, carrier pigeon, or I don't give an S&H (care).

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