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As my first sponsor told me, “First you have to take the rum out of the fruitcake!” Of course that made me mad as hell. However, after about 18 years of being clean, and not being happy, joyous and free, I sought help for my other problems.

I was lucky enough to know someone in the program who pulled me aside one day and said “You know, it is ok to get outside help for other problems. I know where you are. Been there and done that. I may not be happy, joyous and free, but I sure have my moments of being content!”

So, I went off to the VA hospital for an eval. The clinical staff were amazed that I was not using booze or any kind of meds or street drugs. My VA clinician told me one day “Suffering is optional”. I got into treatment for chronic combat PTSD and haven’t looked back since.

I can honestly say that now, I am clean and sober. I feel good most of the time. Having a neurological disorder is a bummer. However, although it is not curable, it is treatable.

My old life required alcohol. My new one does not.