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Getting clean and sober is the hardest thing any addict or alcoholic will ever have to do in life because it is seemingly against our nature to not drink or drug because for what ever reason we are just wired differently.

I am sensitive, I hurt easily and I don’t suffer well.

That sums up my experience.

Seeking numbness to resolve our problems and quiet our deepest fears about ourselves has served many of us well for a long time and alcohol and drugs has been our solution and so often and seemingly our best friend over the years and it’s really hard to say goodbye to such a friend. It’s hard to say goodbye to the one thing that has told us we are OK and just like or even better than everyone else. Under the influence we can, for a time, suppress our inner demons and our deepest fears and for a while with the help of our drink or drug of choice, we are deceived into thinking that every thing is just fine. Under the influence we finally like ourselves and believe everyone else likes us too. But then the morning after comes….

Drugs and alcohol are not our friends. They draw us away from our real friends and the family who really care about us. They make us tell lies to our loved ones; our wives, husbands, fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, friends, to our bosses, to everyone who matters, and especially to ourselves. Addiction makes us make excuses for our missed days at work, our absence from family functions or makes excuses for our bad behavior. Addiction makes us selfish and self centered. Addiction makes us say “I don’t care”. Addiction makes us stop caring about others and eventually it makes us stop caring about ourselves. Addiction tells us that everyone else is out to get us and nothing is our fault. Addiction tells us it’s OK to lie and cheat and steal or put off. Addiction draws us deeper into the world of other addicts; other sick and selfish persons like ourselves so it’s no wonder that we end up feeling so alone. This disease pretends to be our friend but it really wants nothing more than to see us dead. We’ve tried to control our so called friend and found that we can’t control it on our own and despite all our best efforts, we are powerless.

There comes a time for many of us when the pain of living addicted, the pain of being drunk or high finally out ways the pain of getting sober and another solution has to be sought.

We finally look at ourselves and have a moment of truth; “this is not the solution anymore; this is the problem”. We look at our lives under the influence and finally admit that addiction controls us, that we have no control anymore. Then we tell someone else – anyone else. That’s the first step - We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and or drugs - that our lives had become unmanageable.

If you are at this point and you’ve asked for help, relax and take a deep breath, you’ve already accomplished a lot. Now keep asking for help. You may be surprised how many people are willing to help you once you get honest with yourself. Yes, some people may be tired of hearing your endless promises and resolutions, but if you really admit you are powerless and ready to go to any lengths, there are a lot of people who can help you, even some of those people who you think have already given up on you.

Try and get into a good rehab. Yes there are many excuses why you will not want to do this: “I can’t take time off work”, “I’ll get fired”, “It’s too expensive”, “How will I support my family”, “What will other people think?”….Now think about how many days you’ve already missed from work because of your addiction or days you’ve been there but not “been all there”. Think about the cost of losing your job due to your addiction and think about what people already think about you. You probably think you are good at keeping it a secret but think about your family and what you’ve put them trough and think how relived and supportive they will be when you stop making excuses and finally get help. You think you can keep hiding but you’ve probably already run out of places to hide. When you run out of so many places to hide that your world has now become smaller than a shoebox, you don’t really have anywhere else to go. If you were having a heart attack right now you’d probably call 9-11. Getting into rehab or detox is just as important.

If you really can’t go to rehab, then call AA or NA right now and find the nearest meeting and get to one as soon as you can. If you get a message, don’t despair, someone will call you back. If you can’t stop using right now, that’s OK too because someone else has been there and will take you to a meeting. No one will understand you better than someone who has been where you are right now. Their sobriety depends on you just as much as your sobriety depends on them – that’s how it works.

Oh, I know you don’t want to do that either. You have a lot of excuses for that too. “I don’t want to go to AA because it’s a religious thing”. Relax or as one old time told me, “All you need to understand about God right now is that you are not God anymore and you are not in control of the Universe live alone your own life”.

“AA is full of people a lot worse off than me”…OK, but instead of thinking your way out because you aren’t that bad yet, think about how bad do you really want it to get? Some stories you hear will be horrific but let them be the stories you haven’t had to experience yet because you stopped in time. Instead of using them as an excuse to think your way out, thank them for saving you the pain you didn’t have to endure. Stay around for awhile and I guarantee you will soon hear a story very similar to yours. Or as another old time told me, “Take the cotton out of your ears and stuff it in your mouth, be quite for a while and just listen”.

We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.

We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.

We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.

No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.

That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.

We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.

Self-seeking will slip away.

Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.

Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.

We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.

We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not.

They are being fulfilled among us - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.

They will always materialize if we work for them