Harold is 95 and lives in a Senior Citizen Home. Every night after
dinner, Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the center to sit and
ponder his accomplishments and long life. One evening, Mildred, age 87,
wanders into the garden. They begin to chat and before they know it,
several hours have passed .
After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred and
asks, “Do you know what I miss most of all?”
She asks, “What?”
“Sex!!” he replies.
Mildred exclaims, “Why you old fart. You couldn’t get it up if I held a
gun to your head!”
“I know,” Harold says, “but it would be nice if a woman could just hold
it for a while.”
“Well, I can oblige,” says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes
his manhood and proceeds to hold it. Afterward, they agree to meet
secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and
Mildred would hold Harold’s manhood.
Then one night Harold didn’t show up at their usual meeting place.
Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was okay. She
walked around the Senior Citizen Home where she found him sitting by the
pool with Ethel, another female resident, who was holding Harold’s
manhood!
Furious, Mildred yelled, “You two-timing creep! What does Ethel have
that I don’t have?”
Old Harold smiled happily and replied, “Parkinson’s.”
LOL!!
Maude and Claude
Maude and Claude, both 91, lived in The Villages, in Florida .
They met at the singles club meeting and discovered over time that they enjoyed each other’s company.
After several weeks of meeting for coffee, Claude asked Maude out for dinner and, much to his delight, she accepted. They had a lovely evening. They dined at the most romantic restaurant in town.
Despite his age, they ended up at his place for an after-dinner drink. Things continued along a natural course, and age being no inhibitor, Maude soon joined Claude for a most enjoyable roll in the hay.
As they were basking in the glow of the magic moments they’d shared, each was lost for a time in their own thoughts... Claude was thinking:
‘If I’d known she was a virgin, I’d have been gentler.’
Maude was thinking: ‘If I’d known he could still do it, I’d have taken off my pantyhose.